Reanimated: My hotdog has a first name...

Original Post: http://chataus.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-hotdog-has-first-name.html

Sales Dude is Married - animated

You can read about married sales dudes... or you can watch it live.

Reanimated: uname -dn

Original post: http://chataus.blogspot.com/2009/06/uname-dn.html

Reanimated: A Little Dyslexic

Original post: http://chataus.blogspot.com/2003/04/little-dyslexic.html

Yo Momma - animated

You can read about Yo Momma... or you can watch it live.

Fashion Nirvana

[16:15] [monkey_boy] knarf: fashion 2.0 http://i51.tinypic.com/wujrrr.png
[16:15] [monkey_boy] helga is missing out

Perfect Square Day

[10:47] *** monkey_boy has changed the topic on channel #chataus to Happy perfect square day!.
[10:50] helga_: 3-3-9
[10:51] monkey_boy: next one is 4-4-16 then 5-5-25
[10:51] monkey_boy: so enjoy it!
[10:51] * knarf kicks square day in the nads
[10:51] knarf: and dont come back!
[10:52] * monkey_boy wonders why he even bothers
[10:52] knarf: cause your OCD?
[10:53] monkey_boy: good point
[10:53] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads
[10:55] monkey_boy: can you kick it exactly 10 times in the nads?
[10:55] monkey_boy: 1 time is a grumpy number
[10:55] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads 9 more times
[11:00] helga_: 1 is the lonliest number
[11:00] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads for the 11th time when monkey_boy isnt looking
[11:02] monkey_boy: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's too many
[11:02] monkey_boy: now it needs 9 more
[11:02] * knarf empties his pockets
[11:02] knarf: sorry monkey_boy, no more kicks left
[11:02] knarf: ive got 9 piece of lint
[11:02] * monkey_boy kicks OCD 9 times in the nads
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's not the same
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's 11 knarf and 9 monkey_boy
[11:03] monkey_boy: :(
[11:04] helga_: monkey_boy needs to go on True Life: I Have OCD (part 2)
[11:04] monkey_boy: you think you know, but you don't know
[11:08] * monkey_boy wonders where clyde is
[11:09] monkey_boy: I bet he's talking to his OM about how dumb his utep chat friends are

Low Water Mark

[14:48] [eppy] helga: didyou already share our story to chat about our visit to monkey's to get the ps2 going?
[14:52] [knarf] helga_: i joined NF about an hour or 2 ago
[14:52] [SweetSue] oh...is it sharing time
[14:56] [noodleLeg] time for physical therapy, bbl
[14:58] [eppy] oh.. well here it goes..thx sue
[14:59] [eppy] so we bugged monkey about fixing our ps2 that we got about 2 years ago
[14:59] [eppy] went to his house.. turns out that it was just that the hard drive in the ps2 was disconnected
[14:59] [eppy] moral of the story is im a moron
[15:01] [monkey_boy] nah
[15:01] [monkey_boy] you're not a moron
[15:01] [monkey_boy] you just didn't know they could come loose so easily
[15:02] [SweetSue] we new that when you told us about the water leak
[15:04] [eppy] the water leak was a low water mark

The $400 Water Bill

[09:47] eppy: i got a 400 dollar utility bill yesterday
[09:48] monkey_boy: :O
[09:48] monkey_boy: did the mouse leave the water running or something??
[09:48] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: thats what happens when the party never stops at eppys
[09:48] eppy: apparently my water usage was 5 times what it normally is
[09:48] eppy: i dont know whats wrong
[09:50] eppy: i got a plumber coming out.. which prolly just mean more of an expense
[09:51] *** ClydeFrogger has signed off IRC (kubrick.freenode.net irc.freenode.net).
[09:51] monkey_boy: damn, that's crazy dude
[09:51] monkey_boy: maybe a neighbor is stealing water?
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: ah, suck.  you think maybe a running toilet or something?
[09:51] eppy: i called the utility company.. and they have someone coming out in the next 3-5 days
[09:51] monkey_boy: clyde has a good point
[09:51] eppy: im guessing the toilet.. i dont know what else would do it
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: i wouldnt disregard monkey_boy's "mouse" reasoning
[09:51] monkey_boy: it's possible too
[09:51] monkey_boy: that mouse has it out for you
[09:51] monkey_boy: first it was cold water
[09:51] monkey_boy: now it's just using water
[09:51] monkey_boy: that's what you get for installing "mouse accessible" faucet handles.
[09:51] * eppy pictures a mouse in his kiddie pool
[09:51] helga_: we turned the toilet water valve off last night and you can hear water running underthe house.  i'm guessing there is a leak in the house plumping
[09:51] monkey_boy: erf
[09:51] monkey_boy: oof
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: you should go home during the day and see if you catch him having a water-fiesta with all the neighborhood vermin
[09:51] * monkey_boy imagines mice mariachis
[09:51] * monkey_boy loves the idea of mouse mariachis
[09:51] eppy: disneys ruined you
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: or has it made him smarter
[09:51] eppy: fine line
[09:52] monkey_boy: http://www.photoshoppix.com/modules/coppermine/albums/userpics/10008/normal_mariachi_kat_3.jpg
[09:52] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: that does suck though if its a leak
[09:52] eppy: im just hoping they can figure something out
[09:52] chellers: hopefully so
[09:52] eppy: id hate for them to be like. welp.. who knows
[09:52] chellers: that sucks eppy
[09:53] eppy: and then charge me for something that doesnt figure it out
[09:53] eppy: i called a place named plumb quick
[09:53] eppy: the archieves of my neighborhood mailing list mentioned them
[09:54] eppy: finding a plumber is not easy
[09:54] chellers: christianson is who we use
[09:54] * eppy hisses

Later that day...

[12:45] eppy: well that was embarassing
[12:46] eppy: the mouse left the water hose on in the backyard
[12:47] NoClydeFrogger: ouuu
[12:47] chellers: eppy: uh-oh
[12:47] chellers: did you get a ticket?
[12:49] eppy: ticket?
[12:49] chellers: or a fine
[12:49] eppy: oh no
[12:49] chellers: for wasting water?
[12:49] chellers: ah k
[12:49] eppy: i had a plumber come over.. he's the one that found it
[12:50] chellers: ahhh
[12:50] chellers: well at least you know what it was
[12:51] eppy: and it was cheap
[12:51] chellers: tru dat
[12:51] chellers: how long had the hose been running?
[12:52] eppy: weeks
[12:52] monkey_boy: 37days 22hours 14mins
[12:52] monkey_boy: that's one mean mouse
[12:52] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: how does monkey_boy know how long the hose has been running?
[12:52] monkey_boy: I subscribed to the mouse's twitter page
[12:53] chellers: bbl..meeting
[12:53] * NoClydeFrogger bets the stupid mouse even has an iphone
[12:54] monkey_boy: NoClydeFrogger: that
[12:55] monkey_boy: that's what he uses to tweet with
[12:57] noodleLeg: eppy: you thought you had a plumbing problem and the problem was just that the hose was on?
[12:57] * noodleLeg wonders if eppy's grass is super green
[13:01] * SweetSue hands eppy the "Checklist Before Calling A Plumber" brochure
[13:02] monkey_boy: poor eppy.  Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't a leaky pipe in the house.  That's considerably more expensive to fix.
[13:03] eppy: just when i think i cant top my last stoopid thing i pull through
[13:04] eppy: si se puede
[13:04] eppy: im afraid for my next blunder
[13:04] SweetSue: welcome to my world
[13:20] *** glitta has signed off IRC ().
[13:34] knarf: lol
[13:34] knarf: you didnt check all your faucets first?
[13:35] knarf: ok, so w.wheaton IS the stand by me guy...wasnt sure
[13:35] knarf: imbd is slacking...they are the 5th hit on google
[13:36] knarf: 6th
[13:36] knarf: eppy: did the plumber charge you for turning off your faucet
[13:36] knarf: hehe
[13:41] knarf: http://www.theansweris12.net/photogallery/SMORKING%20AREA.jpg
[13:45] eppy: knarf: no.. luckily
[13:45] eppy: i assumed the backyard faucet wasnt running
[13:48] knarf: i was going to ask you when you first posted if there were any nice green patches in your yard
[13:48] knarf: but i thought, "eh, screw'em"
[13:49] eppy: nothing unusual... springs com'in round so it seems pretty typical out there
[13:54] knarf: i wasnt thinking running faucet though...i was thinking it could have been a pipe in the yard that busted
[14:06] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: do you remember when you left the hose on?  im waiting for the day i forget to turn off the hose after doing something in the yard.
[14:08] eppy: it might have been the time i was cleaning off some paint brushes.. friends came over to visit.. i think i may have not turned it all the way off that time
[14:09] NoClydeFrogger: suck
[14:10] eppy: i hope it doesnt cause any structual problems
[14:18] NoClydeFrogger: wtf (what the heck), mila kunis is going out with macaulay culkin?
[14:18] monkey_boy: o o
[14:19] monkey_boy: \o/
[14:19] * NoClydeFrogger gives monkey_boy 1000 chataus pts for hs ascii art
[14:19] monkey_boy: yay
[14:20] NoClydeFrogger: monkey_boy: hot homegirls who supposedly game... http://www.pwnordie.com/blog/posts/14059
[14:20] monkey_boy: nice
[14:27] SweetSue: hey chatters - if there's somebody that is interested in starting a nonprofit, point them to this link: http://www.riseaustin.org/Session.aspx?Session=06814ac0-a28d-4dcb-b9a0-9ba20096be05
[14:27] SweetSue: that woman is awesome - saw her talk on Friday
[14:47] SweetSue: can anybody get to auschron.com?
[14:52] helga_: yes
[14:52] SweetSue: thanks
[14:52] noodleLeg: monkey_boy: cuz of your topic, i haven't had to look up the date all day
[14:54] noodleLeg: i still don't understand what eppy was observing that caused him to call a plumber?
[14:55] noodleLeg: eppy: did you have lots of standing water in the yard?
[14:55] SweetSue: water pressure lowered?
[14:55] noodleLeg: eppy: why are you worried about structural issues?
[14:55] eppy: a 400 dollar utility bill
[14:55] noodleLeg: oh
[14:55] noodleLeg: that sucks
[14:55] eppy: no.. there's not a lot of standing water
[14:55] chellers: noodleLeg: watering unevenly can cause foundation issues
[14:56] noodleLeg: wow
[14:56] chellers: noodleLeg: esp if its around the house structure
[14:56] noodleLeg: good thing we rely on rain to water our yard
[14:56] eppy: its wet obviously.. but not something you can see right away
[14:56] eppy: i rely on the rain to water my yard too

Homo-Sapien Arthropod

[09:48] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you wanna go see Human Centipede with knarf, eppy, and myself?
[09:52] * tzcheezy_poof bets that human centipedes could do some hella cool rollerblading
[09:52] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: what the heck is human centipede?
[09:52] [tzcheezy_poof] don't look
[09:52] [tzcheezy_poof] ever heard of "hoof and mouth" disease? it's worse
[09:53] [knarf] monkey_boy: dont look into it at all...go see a movie having no idea at all what your about to see. that would be cool.
[09:54] [ClydeFrogger] yeah
[09:54] [ClydeFrogger] you know whats difficult...eating almost 4 servings of white rice
[09:55] [knarf] blend it up and chug horchata
[09:55] *** helga_ has quit IRC: Quit: meeting
[09:57] [monkey_boy] from roget ebert on the human centipede:
[09:57] [monkey_boy] "I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."
[09:57] [monkey_boy] that sounds like a winner
[09:57] [ClydeFrogger] ahhh, whyd you look
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] what the...
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] why is there an iphone 4 on my desk
[09:58] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: I think I'll be busy when that airs
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] airs? what are you...from the 50s?
[09:59] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: you probably upgraded to OS4
[10:00] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: if I want to watch a disgusting movie I'll just watch the leave britney alone guy for 5 mins and get my fill for months
[10:00] [monkey_boy] and that doesn't cost me a penny
[10:00] [knarf] monkey_boy: im really disappointed you looked it up
[10:01] [monkey_boy] knarf: I'm really diappointed you tried to drag me to that garbage
[10:01] [tzcheezy_poof] knarf: do you suppose that hurts our chances to make it sound interesting?
[10:01] [knarf] im really disappointed you feel that way
[10:02] [knarf] tzcheezy_poof: it doesnt need us to build it up...HUMAN...CENTIPEDE.
[10:02] [monkey_boy] I just had to read "faces sewn to anuses"
[10:02] [monkey_boy] and I knew it wasn't for me
[10:02] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: it's done artistically
[10:02] [knarf] monkey_boy: think of it as survivor training incase you end up in a mad doctor's house
[10:03] [monkey_boy] knarf: this is why I don't go to far places on vacation
[10:03] [knarf] in this case you'll be a step ahead of everyone and call shotgun!
[10:03] [monkey_boy] if calling shotgun means I have a shotgun then ok
[10:03] [monkey_boy] if it means I want to enter his house sooner, then no.
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you so wouldnt last in a mad doctors house
[10:04] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: that is correct
[10:04] [monkey_boy] my goal would be to not enter his house
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] uh, its never anyone's goal to enter a mad doctors house, 'cept for the mad doctor
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] but those things just happen
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] and you have to be prepared
[10:04] [monkey_boy] no. no they don't
[10:05] [monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2010/07/no-sighting-of-higgs-but-fermila.html?rss=1
[10:05] [ClydeFrogger] yeah, they do. saw, hostel, human centipede...need i say more
[10:05] [knarf] monkey_boy: dont get mad at me when your end up sewn to someone's uranus and i say "told you so"
[10:06] [monkey_boy] knarf: I promise I won't get mad at you when that doesn't happen
[10:07] * tzcheezy_poof bets monkey_boy WILL get mad, even if he can't possibly blame knarf, just cuz he'll have this conversation to remember
[10:07] [monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: I'm really skeptical about the higgs boson. it's a "virtual" particle and no scientist can accurately describe?
[10:07] [tzcheezy_poof] it's a probability thing
[10:07] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: what about a mad scientist who has a goal of making a human centipede?
[10:08] [tzcheezy_poof] seriously, our capacity to detect subatomic particles using instruments made of ordinary matter have to have limits
[10:08] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: 1. it's a dumb idea. 2. he should be focusing that craziness on making zombie warriors
[10:08] [knarf] right?
[10:09] [monkey_boy] what can you do with a human centipede
[10:09] [tzcheezy_poof] rollerblade
[10:09] [monkey_boy] it's just dumb
[10:09] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: i bet everyone thought columbus had a dumb idea when he thought the world was round
[10:09] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: guess history will decide on HC
[10:09] [tzcheezy_poof] History Channel?
[10:09] [monkey_boy] yes. let's let history decide if it's a good idea
[10:10] * monkey_boy can't believe he has to defend the 'human centipede is a dumb idea' position
[10:10] [knarf] monkey_boy: with 10 people, you only have one mouth to feed...good bye world hunger
[10:11] [tzcheezy_poof] plus, twister would be super easy
[10:11] [monkey_boy] well done you two
[10:11] [monkey_boy] if you're mad though wouldn't kill 9 people be a simpler and more effective way of curbing world hunger?
[10:12] * tzcheezy_poof can't believe how sick and twisted monkey_boy's mind is
[10:12] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and it would do nothing to make twister easier
[10:13] [monkey_boy] yes it would
[10:13] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: killing peeps is just jerkface
[10:13] [monkey_boy] fewer people playing twister makes it easy
[10:14] [monkey_boy] "Hi It`s Clarence again. Will you ever contact me? I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you again! If you wanna see them just drop me a line at: nonononnonooooo@no.com"
[10:14] [monkey_boy] that's a good spam
[10:14] [monkey_boy] he talks just like the clarence I know
[10:16] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: did you and clarence have a fight. why you not talking to him?
[10:16] [monkey_boy] because he won't return my shrubbery clippers
[10:17] [tzcheezy_poof] cuz he was busy in the editing room, making vidyas just for you
[10:17] [monkey_boy] wait, what? http://www.livescience.com/animals/animal-warfare-could-the-taliban-train-monkeys-to-shoot-100725.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+Livesciencecom+(LiveScience.com+Science+Headline+Feed)
[10:19] [tzcheezy_poof] old news
[10:19] * tzcheezy_poof remembers stories about gorilla warfare in honduras and nicaragua decades ago
[10:19] * monkey_boy groans
[10:19] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: i bet you wish tzcheezy_poof was part of a human centipede right now, huh?
[10:20] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: no. as bad as that was, no.
[10:20] [tzcheezy_poof] i think i'd rather be one of the 9 dead ones in monkey_boy'
[10:20] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy's alternative
[10:22] * monkey_boy wonders when knarf, tzcheezy_poof, and ClydeFrogger are gonna get bored of the stupid human centipede conversation
[10:24] * tzcheezy_poof wonders... if phil had been part of the HC, would they have "circled the wagons" to defend him from inappropriate biting by tebow?
[10:24] [ClydeFrogger] you think the doctor alternates boy - girl, so you know...it wont be a gay human centipede?
[10:24] [tzcheezy_poof] ClydeFrogger: of course. he's not a monster.
[10:25] [ClydeFrogger] i mean, i bet a human centipede will already have a tough enough time trying to integrate into society...but imagine how difficult it would be for a gay HC?
[10:25] [tzcheezy_poof] what if it's only... 25% gay?
[10:25] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and what if they're hot chicks?
[10:26] * monkey_boy goes into his garage to build an IRC stupid-o-meter
[10:27] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and what if they're wearing rollerblades?
[10:27] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and clarence sends us pictures of them rollerblading down by the beach?
[10:28] [ClydeFrogger] tzcheezy_poof: wed never get the pics cause he wont be talking to monkey_boy
[10:28] [tzcheezy_poof] dag
[10:29] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: forgive and forget, dude
[10:29] * monkey_boy isn't trusting his IRC stupid-o-meter. it's reading 15 on a scale of 10
[10:30] * monkey_boy goes back to redesign the sensing circuit
[10:30] [eppy] so.. we going to see HC?
[10:30] [eppy] is that tonight or weds?
[10:30] [eppy] i dont know squat about the movie
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] my vote is for weds
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] eppy: great
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] knarf: wed work for you?
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy?
[10:30] [tzcheezy_poof] knarf: you've gotta record eppy watching the movie
[10:30] [eppy] well.. i did see that monkey posted some quote about it.. but i didnt read it
[10:31] [monkey_boy] eppy: spoiler - it's dumb.
[10:31] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: oh yeah, wed is perfect. I'll be there.
[10:32] [knarf] wed is cool
[10:32] [tzcheezy_poof] eppy: don't listen to monkey_boy. he's just mad that his little gadget is defective
[10:32] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you should prolly buy your ticket ahead of time cause it may sell out
[10:32] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: I'm on fandango right now
[10:32] [monkey_boy] I'm buying 3 in case I lose 2 of them
[10:32] * ClydeFrogger cant stop laughing


AND LATER THAT DAY

[12:23] [tzcheezy_poof] hiya, noodleLeg. how's olive?
[12:26] [noodleLeg] at daycare :-(
[12:27] [tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: i'll bet you haven't heard the cool news... monkey_boy was contacted by a local publisher about being the illustrator for a new children's book: "The Human Centipede"
[12:27] [tzcheezy_poof] he's thinking it over
[12:27] [noodleLeg] monkey_boy: really?
[12:28] [tzcheezy_poof] ah, lunchtime. bbl
[12:44] [monkey_boy] noodleLeg: ignore him. none of that happened
[13:03] [noodleLeg] thanks monkey_boy, but just so you know i would of bought a copy of your children's book for Olive
[13:03] [knarf] hehe

BZZZZZZZZZZZZ part 2

chatty chat has World Cup fever!!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[10:19] [helga_] someone in my hallway has an app that makes the sound you hear at the world cup soccer games
[10:20] [helga_] that super annoying sound
[10:20] [helga_] i want to punch this person in the face
[10:20] [knarf] its free
[10:20] [tzcheezy_poof] wow, it really DOES bring that world cup feeling
[10:20] * knarf sends the app link to eppy
[10:20] [helga_] knarf: do it and i'll punch you in the fce
[10:21] [helga_] face
[10:21] [tzcheezy_poof] a little work on the heavy bag and helga_ could be a real soccer fan
[10:21] [knarf] your face is i'll punch you in the face
[10:23] [knarf] helga_: get your bf on chat and if he doesnt ruin KL, i wont send him the app
[10:24] [ClydeFrogger] KL blackmail...nice
[10:25] [helga_] why don't you sametime him
[10:26] [knarf] same time him the app link?
[10:26] [tzcheezy_poof] is this his 1 on 1 week?
[10:27] [helga_] well, i already emailed him and told him if he gets the app, our relationship is over and his iphone will get punched by my fist
[10:27] [helga_] tzcheezy_poof: that's usually at 11
[10:27] [ClydeFrogger] haha.
[10:27] [ClydeFrogger] helga_: you should wait till he gets his new iphone and then punch that one
[10:27] [knarf] thatll learn him
[10:28] [helga_] haha
[10:28] [knarf] .msg ClydeFrogger we could totally get on his new phone during KL and install the app
[10:28] * tzcheezy_poof hopes knarf has the common decency to hide in the bushes and film it all
[10:28] [helga_] it'll still be under warranty, right?
[10:28] * ClydeFrogger shrugs
[10:28] [knarf] yeah, punches under covered for like 2 years
[10:28] [knarf] under=are
[10:28] [knarf] that was weird
[10:29] [helga_] covered under your face?
[10:30] *** eppy has joined #chataus
[10:31] * helga_ held up her end of the bargain... knarf better do the same
[10:31] [ClydeFrogger] knarf, eppy: what sport are we going to play on friday?
[10:31] [ClydeFrogger] my vote is either volleyball or basketball
[10:33] [knarf] if they dont lock me in my cage here...i say bball
[10:34] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: we could stick some waterballoons in the freezer the night before an then play in water ballon fight
[10:34] [ClydeFrogger] haha
[10:41] [eppy] spain is losing to the swiss.. might be the first upset
[10:41] [knarf] eppy: we kartin?
[10:43] [eppy] yeah.. but i have my 1on1 at 11
[10:43] [eppy] so it wont be til 1130
[10:43] [knarf] k
[10:43] [knarf] .msg helga_ as promised, i wont send eppy this app link http://bit.ly/aXnHz4
[10:46] [eppy] ouuu.. vuvuzela app
[10:46] [helga_] eppy: if you get it, you cant play it
[10:46] [helga_] i will give chauncey your iphone to play with in the backyard
[10:46] [knarf] haha
[10:46] * helga_ might even teach chauncey to bury iphones
[10:46] * monkey_boy does not like the vuvuzuelas
[10:46] [eppy] mebby chauncey likes vuvuzelas
[10:47] [eppy] only one way to find out
[10:47] [knarf] thatd be great if helga_ gave him the phone and he just kept playing on that app
[10:47] [knarf] CHAUNCEY!!
[10:47] [ClydeFrogger] haha

someone is never happy

[monkey_boy] y'all see the new mac minis?
[monkey_boy] they look cool to me but the specs are weak.
[helga] why weak?
[helga] i saw it came with 2GB memory std... that's pretty weak
[tzcheezy_poof] that's weak for a mini?
[monkey_boy] that's weak for a computer
[monkey_boy] the cpu is dated
[monkey_boy] it's still the older core 2 duo model
[tzcheezy_poof] why do you expect a mini to be equivalent to a full-sized laptop?
[monkey_boy] I don't expect that.
[monkey_boy] I'm just saying that they INCREASED the price by $100 and offered the same hardware
[monkey_boy] you're paying for the new case and that's that.
[tzcheezy_poof] ok, that's a decent argument
[knarf] i'm a pc
[tzcheezy_poof] was win 7 your idea?
[knarf] pretty good, right?

Happy Birthday, Monkey!

[ClydeFrogger] helga: you see the SATC2 movie?
[helga] ClydeFrogger: no, but i was thinking maybe some ladies would want to go on sunday
[helga] or saturday night ....
[monkey_boy] paper wasps are buildig a big nest in the back of my condo
[helga] eppy's friends are in town for The Melvins and i want to kidnap eppy's bff's girlfriend and take her to see SATC2 instead of the show
[monkey_boy] I need to get that sucker down.
[helga] monkey_boy: wasp spray!
[monkey_boy] yep.
[monkey_boy] it's high up
[ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: flamethrower
[monkey_boy] it's pretty big too
[helga] if its high up and you can't reach it without getting on a ladder, call the HOA and have them take care of it
[helga] no need for you to get stung on a ladder when the HOA will do it
[helga] and its a hazard for them to leave it there
[ClydeFrogger] or, throw rocks at it
[monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: you're so smart.
[helga] monkey_boy: ClydeFrogger's condo might have a wasp nest, you should go throw rocks and find out
[monkey_boy] helga: I had a scare last week
[monkey_boy] I went out my back door to the closest dumpster
[monkey_boy] on the way back
[monkey_boy] I was at the door and I felt something in my hair
[monkey_boy] so I brushed it out
[monkey_boy] and looked up
[monkey_boy] I looked into the eyes of about 5 wasps bulding a nest on the top of my door frame
[monkey_boy] it was about 4 inches from my face
[monkey_boy] they were....irritated.
[monkey_boy] so yeah, I ran inside
[monkey_boy] and got a broom, cracked the door and knocked it down.
* monkey_boy **hates** paper wasps. they stung me so many times in Canutillo. We had them around our house from march to september.
* eppy now knows what to get monkey for his bday
[helga] the gift that keeps on giving
* eppy makes note to make sure monkey_boy shakes his bday gift before he opens it
[ClydeFrogger] like a salt shaker or polaroid?
[eppy] like one of those arm exercise shake contraptions
[monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: more like a box full of paper wasps

...My hotdog has a first name

[15:43] [eppy] monkey: did helga tell you that tebow tried to eat chauncey?
[15:44] [eppy] i wont elaborate if you already heard this
[15:44] [helga_] i didn't say anything
[15:44] [helga_] but tebow is nice to people, but doesn't know how to hold back when playing with dogs
[15:45] [tzcheezy_poof] what breed is tebow?
[15:45] [eppy] american bulldog
[15:46] [monkey_boy] eppy: jon told me chauncey didn't like playing with big ol' tebow
[15:47] [monkey_boy] interesting how you both saw the same event
[15:47] [monkey_boy] tebow thinks he's a 30 lbs playdog
[15:47] [monkey_boy] not a 110lbs beefy dog
[15:48] [tzcheezy_poof] 30 lbs is too small to play. 110+ is better.
[15:49] [@ClydeFrogger] margatiaville, anyone? http://tinyurl.com/266ht39
[15:50] [helga_] monkey_boy: tebow played aggressive. chauncey got scared... he doesn't usually get scared at all around other dogs and he showed teeth.
[15:50] [helga_] ClydeFrogger: oh, buy it for beach weekend
[15:50] [monkey_boy] I told you tebow used to bite phil and ben's dog on the weiner
[15:50] [helga_] and future boat parties
[15:50] [helga_] don't remember that
[15:50] [monkey_boy] helga_: tebow is a unique dog.
[15:50] [knarf] dag nabbit
[15:51] [@ClydeFrogger] the dog bit phil's weiner?
[15:51] [knarf] vm line is working again...but i dont remember my passcode
[15:51] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: If I bought that could I return it to sur la taaaaaaaaabulh?
[15:51] [eppy] monkey: what kinda dog was phil and bens?
[15:51] [monkey_boy] chocolate lab
[15:51] [monkey_boy] about 85-95 lbs
[15:51] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: haha...poor ben's dog and phil
[15:51] [eppy] think tebow needs to be better intergrated with other dogs
[15:52] [monkey_boy] tebow peed on my foot
[15:52] [@ClydeFrogger] and phil's wiener
[15:52] [knarf] haha
[15:52] * monkey_boy has given up on correcting chat.
[15:52] [helga_] chauncey plays with stranger danger dog "avy" who is a south african mastiff and 125 pounds three times a week. he plays well with big dogs... but i think it helps avy is female and chauncey is male
[15:53] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: phil's weiner
[15:53] [monkey_boy] diet 7up + OJ is tasty
[15:53] [monkey_boy] it's refreshing and bubbly
[15:53] [helga_] monkey_boy: you can make diet 7up margaritas in the margarita machine
[15:53] [helga_] buy it!
[15:54] [knarf] just make sure the machine cant bite
[15:54] * @ClydeFrogger plays dumb
[15:54] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: what ever shall the machine bit?
[15:54] [@ClydeFrogger] bit=bite
[15:54] [knarf] phil's weiner
[15:54] * monkey_boy already bought everyone but ClydeFrogger a cordless margarita machine
[15:54] [@ClydeFrogger] hahahaha
[15:55] [knarf] monkey_boy: dont stop talking, please
[15:56] * monkey_boy doesn't get it
[15:56] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy thought he could change the subject with his diet 7 up statement
[15:56] [monkey_boy] no, it's what I'm drinking right now
[15:56] [monkey_boy] it's tasty
[15:56] [knarf] monkey_boy: you try Barq's root beer....its got BITE!

i like how she has no reaction

[ClydeFrogger] this is awesome... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZP4Ugev82I&feature=player_embedded
[knarf] LOL
[knarf] theres a keyboard cat version
[ClydeFrogger] link?
[knarf] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCrtZ_mS0YM&feature=related
[ClydeFrogger] i see it
[ClydeFrogger] i like how she has no reaction
[knarf] just another DJ gig
[helga] i love keyboard cat!
[ClydeFrogger] phil collins song will never be the same
* helga_ can't wait till the weekend so she doesn't have to hear the word "interlock" for two whole days
* eppy takes note of new way to bug helga
* knarf is pretty sure eppy is talking about the word "interlock" and not phil collins
* helga_ hopes so
[helga] wait
* helga_ doesn't want to be bugged by eppy

apartemental de casa

* ClydeFrogger raises hand
[ClydeFrogger] and for todays racist piece of news... http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/alleged_remarksget_teacher_takenout_of_classroom_93530409.html?showFullArticle=y
* tzcheezy_poof has joined #chataus
* tzcheezy_poof changes topic to 'will smart-ace topics be the end of topics as we know it? '
[monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05/14/nz_spider/
[tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: nice how they have bootnotes instead of footnotes
[knarf] so whats the new law exactly? police or immigration can just ask anyone brown to have to show their "papers?" papers being what? DL? SS?
[knarf] haha...the related story headline is funny: Taiwanese rat snake bites Taiwanese trouser snake (12 May 2009)
[knarf] A Taiwanese man is recovering in hospital after a snake sank its fangs into his todger as he sat down on the toilet at his rural home, Reuters reports.
[knarf] so todger is a wee-wee?
[tzcheezy_poof] roger roger
[knarf] never heard that word before
[knarf] The unnamed 51-year-old Nantou County victim suffered "minor injuries" to his wedding tackle during the attack.
[knarf] wedding tackle?
[tzcheezy_poof] that, i've heard
[tzcheezy_poof] austin powers used it, i think
[ClydeFrogger] knarf: i think the az law...cops cant just stop random people and ask them for proof of citizenship (or at least i dont think they can)
[ClydeFrogger] they had to have stopped for other 'activity"
[knarf] ah
[knarf] and then ask for to see what?
[helga] proof of immigration status
[ClydeFrogger] proof...thats where lots of peeps are confused
[helga] either a green card or proof of american citizenship... but no one knows
[knarf] uh, what if youre not an immigrant?
[ClydeFrogger] how do you prove your a citizen
[ClydeFrogger] DL isnt proof
[ClydeFrogger] maybe ssn?
[helga] passport is proof
[monkey_boy] knarf: only if you're british
[ClydeFrogger] it is
[tzcheezy_poof] most americans don't have passports
[monkey_boy] whoa, sorry about that...didn't realize I was scrolled back a ways
[ClydeFrogger] but not everyone is required by law to have a passport
* knarf hopes he doesnt get into any fistacuffs when he goes to the Raider game in AZ
[helga] knarf: better bring your passport or pass-card (the card version of the passport for travel to canada and mexico)
[chellers] AZ law was amended to say that they could only check if they were stopped for other reasons
[knarf] monkey_boy: sad news...corey haim is dead
[ClydeFrogger] haha
[tzcheezy_poof] long as you know that houston is the capital of tx, they won't go all red dawn on ya
[helga] chellers: but that's bs. a cop can pull over anyone for "suspicious" activity
[chellers] originally the law said they could stop if they thought you were illigeal
[knarf] i dont have a passport
[chellers] helga_: oh i agree
[knarf] i may be getting one though, but if i do, i wont be taking it to AZ
[chellers] i 'm just saying the original law allowed cops to pull you over because they thought you were illegal
[helga] that makes no sense, knarf
[helga] chellers: right :)
[ClydeFrogger] to make it "fair" (at least fair in terms of following the law) they should ask everyone for citizenship
[knarf] not sure how to clear it up
[ClydeFrogger] no matter what
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: it wouldnt be done even if that was the law
[tzcheezy_poof] helga_: i wouldn't take a passport just to cross state lines, no reason knarf should
[ClydeFrogger] knarf: true, but its an attempt
[helga] ClydeFrogger: and that's why my uncle said 5 years ago, he was afraid az was turning into east germany
[ClydeFrogger] or an idea
[knarf] itd be there in writing, but still only happen to those who look illegal
[monkey_boy] I heard on NPR they can't stop anyone
[helga] ClydeFrogger: five years ago with the beef-up of homeland security the number of border patrol agents in az like quadrupled
[monkey_boy] the way it works is if they already have someone stopped for anything
[helga] ClydeFrogger : is your bro a border patrol agent?
[monkey_boy] and they think the person might not be legal, they are now required by law to question them for proof of citizenship
[ClydeFrogger] yup
* tzcheezy_poof starts building a high voltage fence around the border of his apartment
[knarf] tzcheezy_poof: in addition to the one the neighbors put up?
[ClydeFrogger] helga_: hes stationed/works south of tuscon
[helga] is he in fort. whatever?
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf: i don't care what they do, i have no trade agreements with them
[ClydeFrogger] helga_: i dont think so...but not entirely sure
[helga] or in nogales?
[ClydeFrogger] i wanna say nogales
[knarf] i wanna say nalgas
[knarf] NALGAS!!
[ClydeFrogger] haha
[helga] nogales is the border town. there is a nogales, az and nogales, Sonora (i think that's the mex. state)
[ClydeFrogger] helga_: i made a joke to him that hes gonna get kicked out of the US by his own peeps
[ClydeFrogger] but in a funny/joking way
[helga] how did he take it
[ClydeFrogger] good
[ClydeFrogger] knarf: lets paint monkey_boy brown and send him to az
[ClydeFrogger] you know...as a test
* tzcheezy_poof wonders if MN is going to start profiling folks that look too frenchy
[helga] how does this law affect the border patrol work? just curious ... they are us agents, not az officers
[ClydeFrogger] i dont think aything changes for them
[monkey_boy] how am I getting roped into this crap?
[helga] tzcheezy_poof: we're more worried about letting those canadians and wisconsins into our state
[knarf] monkey_boy: thats exactly what an illegal would say
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: get a rope
[helga] luckily iowa won't migrate north and north/south dakota doesn't have the population to cause any havoc
[helga] minnesota is safe
* tzcheezy_poof begins to wonder if bullwinkle was an illegal
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezy_poof: maybe that will be how we get rid of celine dion
[monkey_boy] I'm kind of torn by the law
* tzcheezy_poof offers monkey_boy some tape
* ClydeFrogger hopes its brown tape
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: is it a casette single of celine dion?
[tzcheezy_poof] oui
* monkey_boy hopes ClydeFrogger chokes on a fishbone
[tzcheezy_poof] \msg ClydeFrogger cassette tape is brown
[ClydeFrogger] thats not nice
[ClydeFrogger] .msg tzcheezy_poof bobby brown...nice
[tzcheezy_poof] ClydeFrogger: by "chokes on a fishbone", monkey_boy means wins the lotteryand buys sonic HH drinks for all
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: no. I meant tries to eat some fish and a bone in the fish gets stuck in his throat and his eyes get watery and he coughs for 2-3 mins
[monkey_boy] it doesn't kill him
[monkey_boy] it's just uncomfortable for a while
[knarf] so angry
[tzcheezy_poof] that's less than cordial
[knarf] its these damn angry immigrants that need to go
[knarf] .msg ClydeFrogger we could swap out monkey_boy's oil of olay with some bronzer...that should do the trick
[monkey_boy] you're just jealous we do a better job than you do for 1/3 the price
[monkey_boy] oh crap, did I say we?
[tzcheezy_poof] yep, them brown polack peanut-butter-molestin' foreignors is ruinin' this great land
[monkey_boy] I meant they.
* monkey_boy is really an albino mexican
[knarf] LOL
[knarf] monkey_boy isnt really funny, i just like to here the LOL sound on trillian
[helga] make your own paper robot: http://botropolis.com/2010/05/50-awesome-papercraft-robots/
[monkey_boy] haha
[knarf] forget paper R.O.B. - i still got the real one
[tzcheezy_poof] helga_: cool!! that's my second favorite site in the whole interweb: "This Operation Failed! The requested site is blocked by JID. "
[helga] tzcheezy_poof: bullwinkle is from my hometown! he's from the border... he just made it.
[tzcheezy_poof] helga_: did you see his papers?
* tzcheezy_poof wonders if mooses can be trained to go on papers
[tzcheezy_poof] dag. hate it when work interrupts my fridays... brb
[ClydeFrogger] who stole from who
[ClydeFrogger] c.s. lewis from tolkien
[ClydeFrogger] or the other way around
* helga_ goes to wikipedia to find out
[knarf] werent they buddies?
[helga] lewis from tolkien
[helga] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tolkien#Religion
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: so no kart then?
[eppy] why not?
[knarf] moms in town
[knarf] he said he was gonna try and lock her in the room
[helga] she wanted to play with you guys and he said "girls can't play" and he got grounded
[tzcheezy_poof] can she ground him before lori ungrounds him? is that legal?
[knarf] yes
[eppy] i thought if we left early we could kart.. two champ karts cancelled in a row
[eppy] que lastima
[knarf] hed just carry out consecutive terms
[knarf] who keeps cancelling??
[knarf] well too late now, just got sucked into a meeting. not sure how long it'll last but i can go after
[eppy] dang it
* tzcheezy_poof just had a scary thought... what if the folks knarf met with earlier this week weren't really east-germans? what if they were arizonans? tzcheezy_poof hopes knarf isn't being waterboarded
[eppy] dang.. just realized that not only that we not get to kart.. but ill instead be working
[tzcheezy_poof] :O
[tzcheezy_poof] say it ain't so, eppy!
[eppy] total bullcrap
[knarf] i can kart at 12
[eppy] boo
[tzcheezy_poof] nazi friggin germany, i tell ya
[knarf] fine, if you dont want to kart, then no kart
[eppy] first arizona... now kart
[eppy] ill still wanna kart at 12.. but i doubt clyde can then
[ClydeFrogger] yeah, i cant kart
[ClydeFrogger] weve got gone with the wind playing
* knarf ships ClydeFrogger and monkey_boy to AZ
* tzcheezy_poof wonders if ClydeFrogger will charge monkey_boy $5k in coyote fees to keep him from being deported to Poland
* tzcheezy_poof bets monkey_boy has no documentation that can prove he's here legally from Poland
* monkey_boy ignores this entire conversation
* tzcheezy_poof speaks slowly and loudly in fake polish to monkey_boy
[tzcheezy_poof] IT'SKI OHSKI KAYSKI! YOUSKI ARESKI SAFESKI!!
[ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: call up your cousin, mariuz and tell'em tzcheezy_poof is making fun of polish peeps
[knarf] i thought he died in a light bulb changing accident
* monkey_boy continues to ignore this fun conversation
[knarf] it was pretty tragic...he tried to do it with only one other person
[knarf] monkey_boy: promise me you'll call me and ClydeFrogger over when a light bulb goes out
[monkey_boy] knarf: I have a couple of bulbs at my condo in Arizona that need changing. can you two go there and replace them? Just let me know when you're there so I can call the condo security to let you in and know you're not there unauthorized.
[knarf] roger roger
[knarf] .msg ClydeFrogger party at monkey_boy's AZ condo!!
* monkey_boy realizes knarf just fooled him again. How could he ever get back at those two? In Arizona? At a condo that's not theirs?
[ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy is mean
* monkey_boy isn't the one that started the talk of deportation
[knarf] .msg ClydeFrogger here we go with the blamestorming
[ClydeFrogger] blamestorming...nice

Scarier Meter: Ghosts vs. Devil

[ClydeFrog] whos gonna watch NoES tomorrow?
[tzcheezy_poof] if not tomorrow, then saturday (taking nieces/nephews)
[ClydeFrog] nice
[helga] ClydeFrogger: is someone cute (like johnny depp) in NoES?
[ClydeFrog] Kelly from the Bad News Bears is in it
* tzcheezy_poof doesn't understand why helga_ can't appreciate freddy's inner beauty
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: when you gonna go watch NoES?
[ClydeFrog] dont know
[ClydeFrog] you said holly doesnt want to see it, right?
[ClydeFrog] lori already gave a "no" on it
[ClydeFrog] that almost broke up out marriage
[knarf] yup, no go for holly
[knarf] shes already freaking out cause she thinks theres a lil girl ghost in the house
[ClydeFrog] oh yeah
[ClydeFrog] what happened with that
[knarf] yesterday the boys scared her...
[knarf] she went in to their room after nap to get them out
[knarf] they both moved to look behind her (the way we do when we play peekaboo) and smiled at the open closet door
[ClydeFrog] freaky
[knarf] she was freaked
[knarf] she hadnt gone back in the room until bath time last night while i was there
[tzcheezy_poof] you suggest adopting the little girl
[ClydeFrog] knarf: sounds like you need ClydeFroggers Surveilance to set up some vid cameras
[tzcheezy_poof] you=you should
[knarf] i stayed with the boys in the bathroom...and she went to face her fears and close the closet door
[knarf] i rolled a ball in the room when she did...that didnt help
[tzcheezy_poof] acehole.
[ClydeFrog] nice
* tzcheezy_poof applauds
[ClydeFrog] knarf: so why do you guys think its a little girl
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf: should tell her you just wanted to see if jeze would chase the ball...even with a ghost in there
[ClydeFrog] does the ghost suck at driving or video games?
[knarf] dont know why she thinks its a girl...something with the toy that "she" was playing downstairs that other time i mentioned it
[knarf] haha
[knarf] holly just msg me "jordan had a walkie talkie and someone started talking freeked me out"
[ClydeFrog] uhoh
[knarf] a mans voice
[knarf] she doesnt know why she thought a girl, she just felt we needed a lil girl
[knarf] i asked her what the voice said...
[knarf] "Holly: i dont know I heard it a few times and thought the fan was making a wierd noise. then went to take the walkie talkie away from jordan an a man spoke again...i turned it off right away. Holly: scare me"
[knarf] happened in the boys room
* knarf needs a better camera
[tzcheezy_poof] adopt. tell her you're bringing a ghost home from work who knows a good dead attorney who'll work cheap. will work for chicken feed... er... chicken blood
[knarf] one with an ectoplasam filter
[ClydeFrog] here ya go... http://www.ghosthuntingtools.net/
[ClydeFrog] its a real site
[ClydeFrog] uh, how is this a ghost hunting tool... http://ghosthuntingtools.net/product_info.php?products_id=241&osCsid=179b9794749b555bf17e499416f45e8e
[knarf] hopefully the ghost doesnt see holly's webrowsing...this'll piss it off fer sure
[ClydeFrog] knarf: get these... http://ghosthuntingtools.net/product_info.php?products_id=246&osCsid=179b9794749b555bf17e499416f45e8e
[knarf] i just hope its a Raiders fan
[knarf] if not, im crackin skulls
[knarf] oh heck yeah, i need those goggles
[knarf] wheres monkey? i need someone to buy'em
[ClydeFrog] hes even in vegas. just tell him to play the slots
[ClydeFrog] theres an app for that... http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/voco-spiritus/id339913847?mt=8
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf: ad says they're water resistant and have a flip flop mechanism... perfect for the beach! (a haunted beach at night)
* tzcheezy_poof hopes knarf brings scooby snacks
[ClydeFrog] this is good. from some dude who posted in a forum thread... "i really don't trust the ghos hunting applications on the iphone... all the ones i have found are for entertainment purposes."
[tzcheezy_poof] unbeleevers like him are pisseng of the spirits
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: lol
* knarf_ has joined #chataus
* knarf Quit
* knarf_ Quit
[tzcheezy_poof] this guy wouldn't have gotten off in the US... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/nottinghamshire/8652243.stm
[tzcheezy_poof] scenes like that make it scary to consider becoming a teacher....
[tzcheezy_poof] It emerged during the four-day trial that pupils at the school were trying to wind up Harvey so his reaction could be caught on a camcorder being used secretly by a girl in the class. The footage was then to be passed around the school as a way of "humiliating" the teacher.
[ClydeFrog] this one is better.. "The court heard that he shouted "die, die, die" as he bludgeoned the boy with the weight after the pupil swore at him. "
[tzcheezy_poof] he only hit him twice, so i'm sure he didn't mean it the 3rd time
* noodleLeg wished she had read the chat she missed
* noodleLeg is going to have nightmares
[noodleLeg] Olive has freaked me out like the boys did Holly
[tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: i'm sure the ghost that olive plays with isn't as creepy as knarf's
[noodleLeg] she stares off into space and i get freaked out, thinking is your grandpa John looking at you, if so i don't want to know
[noodleLeg] keep saying it outloud so all ghosts know i don't care to see them
[tzcheezy_poof] so... you're NOT going to borrow knarf's goggles when he's done?
[noodleLeg] absolutely not
* tzcheezy_poof doesn't think noodleLeg will win America's Funniest Ghost Videos with an attitude like that
[noodleLeg] when i was growing up my mom always told me ghost stories of how my grandma (who passed away before i was born) would come to see me when i was a baby
* noodleLeg has been terrified of ghosts ever since
[noodleLeg] why would my mom tell me stuff like that when i was little??
[ClydeFrog] noodleLeg: thats nothing. my mom has your mom beat
* noodleLeg if its about ghosts i don't think i want to hear the story
[ClydeFrog] it isnt
[ClydeFrog] not about ghosts
[noodleLeg] ok then go ahead
[ClydeFrog] wanna hear?
[ClydeFrog] my mom used to tell me if i didnt eat my lunch and wasted it, the devil would come visit me
[noodleLeg] wonder if your mom and my mom hung out
[noodleLeg] my mom used to tell me that if you swept the floor at night it woke up all the spirits in the house
[ClydeFrog] at least it sounds like your mom was trying to say something sweet
[ClydeFrog] my mom just straight up used that as a threat
[noodleLeg] true your mom was meaner
[ClydeFrog] and thats why i was a fat kid
[noodleLeg] but my mom was probably better at scaring me
[ClydeFrog] alright, im outs
[noodleLeg] don't know why ghosts are way scarier than ghosts
[noodleLeg] oops
[noodleLeg] scarier than the devil
* ClydeFrogger Quit
[tzcheezy_poof] golly, i think i'd rather be visited by ghosts than by the devil
* tzcheezy_poof looks around, wonders who closed his office door and turned out the lights
[tzcheezy_poof] oh, yeah, that was me. plenty of light from the window and i didn't want to disturb anyone while i was on the phone
* tzcheezy_poof checks under his desk anyway, just in case
[tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: does it snow much in portland?
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: lots of snow in the mountains around here, but not much in the city
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: usually a couple to a few days a year
[tzcheezy_poof] rains plenty, though, right?
[eppy] do the ghosts like the snow?
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: although a couple of years ago portland had snow for almost 2 weeks straight, it was very odd weather for up here, luckily we were visiting relatives in texas for most of it
[noodleLeg] eppy: i bet your sad you missed all the ghost talk huh?
* noodleLeg runs off to a diff irc channel
[eppy] it was gold.. im sure it'll make the archive

Kids...

[knarf] monkey_boy: wanna go see nightmare on elm street?
[monkey_boy] dangit
[monkey_boy] where's clyde
[monkey_boy] knarf: I don't like elm street movies
[knarf] well, can you take me and clyde? we promise to be good on our own and meet you out front as soon as its over.
[knarf] maybe you can take us to McD's after?
* tzcheezy_poof wants knarf's happy meal toy if he already got one like it
[monkey_boy] knarf: I still haven't seen that progress report from Mrs. Tillman
[monkey_boy] she told me she gave it to you but you said you lost it.
[monkey_boy] once I see the report we'll talk.
[tzcheezy_poof] .msg knarf dude, i can totally forge her sig... kinda
[knarf] monkey_boy: i gave it to you already...i made up for the all late homework i turned by staying late and doing her "extra credit"
* tzcheezy_poof misses clyde telling him that his face is forged
[knarf] monkey_boy: mustve misplaced it
[tzcheezy_poof> [monkey_boy] knarf: well buster, if you misplaced that then I misplaced the time to take you to the movies.
[monkey_boy] school before play young man
[monkey_boy] and money doesn't grow on trees
[monkey_boy] oh and listen to your mother.
[tzcheezy_poof] and freddy kruger is a tool of the devil
* monkey_boy sighs and wonders when tzcheezy_poof's mom is going to pick him up. He's been here for 3 hours longer than his mom promised.
* tzcheezy_poof starts looking through knarf's toybox to see which one should "accidentally" end up in tzcheezy_poof's backpack
* monkey_boy looks for his bottle of pills
[knarf] but daa-AAA-aahhh-ad
* knarf hopes everyone else heard that cartman style
[monkey_boy] no buts knarf. good grades mean you can get a job and I don't have to support your butt anymore.
[monkey_boy] so hop to it.
* knarf kicks tzcheezy_poof's voltron and runs to his room
[knarf] monkey_boy: I HATE YOU! youre always ruining my life!
* knarf slams his door
* tzcheezy_poof snickers cuz that was actually knarf's voltron
* tzcheezy_poof knocks on knarf's door
[tzcheezy_poof] dude, i think i left ... uh... one of MY toys in your toybox
[tzcheezy_poof] i don't know which one yet
* knarf cracks the door open and hands him clyde's rubix cube
* monkey_boy wonders if general hospital is on yet
[tzcheezy_poof] hmmm, that *might* be it, but the stickers are all wrong
* tzcheezy_poof starts rearranging the stickers
* monkey_boy wonders if his stash of gin is still there
* knarf never liked the Pic-N-Save version of the real Rubik's Cube...only had 2 colors
* tzcheezy_poof decides that the orange stickers don't taste as good as they look, spits 3 of them out
[tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: tell comedy cental that allah is cool with them releasing episode 201
* monkey_boy enjoys his "water" and general hospital storytime and ignores the racket the kids are making
* tzcheezy_poof tugs on monkey_boy's sleeve
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf's dad!
[tzcheezy_poof] mr knarf
[tzcheezy_poof] mr
[tzcheezy_poof] hey, mr
* monkey_boy wonders if tzcheezy_poof's mom would notice if tzcheezy_poof "fell down"
* knarf grabs a box of matches and sneaks out the back door
[tzcheezy_poof] so, my mom called. she said she needs to win back the rent and probably can't leave the game for another couple hours. is it ok if I stay a little longer?
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: no.
[tzcheezy_poof] she said tell him "the next one's free". she said you'd know what that means.
* monkey_boy needs to teach knarf and clyde how to unfriend people
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: no x 100
* tzcheezy_poof looks at the smoke rising from mr knarf's shed in the backyard...
[tzcheezy_poof] ok, bye then. i'll catch a bus
* knarf runs back in the house out of breath
[knarf] i didnt do it!
* knarf runs back to his room
* monkey_boy wonders if the army is still looking for reqcruits to iraq

yo mama

[15:04] ClydeFrogger: im gonna finish up from home
[15:06] eppy: dontcha feel guilty doing that?
[15:06] ClydeFrogger: dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
[15:07] ClydeFrogger: eppy: nah...not when i work a couple more hours when i get home...and work weekends...and work yo momma

[14:17] eppy: visited a buddy last night who has a 13 year.. she was using an animation website named.. aniboom
[14:17] eppy: went home and tried it out.. pretty neat
[14:17] eppy: easy to use
[14:17] ClydeFrogger: uhoh
[14:17] eppy: old news?
[14:17] * ClydeFrogger holds back the "yo momma" joke
[14:18] eppy: i couldnt hold back yo momma if i tried
[14:18] * eppy runs
[14:18] knarf: haha
[14:19] ClydeFrogger: touche, eppy...touche

[11:04] ClydeFrogger: eppy: so what time for taco bell?
[11:09] eppy: hammer time
[11:10] ClydeFrogger: is that like in 20 mins?
[11:11] eppy: i thought taco bell closed
[11:11] ClydeFrogger: just the one by my house
[11:11] ClydeFrogger: not the one on parmer
[11:12] eppy: how has taco bell not gotten banned over the years?
[11:13] ClydeFrogger: they have a new "fresca" menu
[11:13] eppy: lol
[11:14] eppy: you know this is why wii fit calls you a fatty
[11:20] *** noodleLeg has joined #chataus.
[11:21] ClydeFrogger: eppy: fine, if you wanna be like that
[11:21] eppy: chill out, man
[11:22] eppy: take a breather
[11:26] eppy: bring me back a bean burrito
[11:27] ClydeFrogger: how 'bout i just wrap yo momma in a blanket and give you that
[11:31] eppy: ill staying with the bean burrito

[14:02] eppy: why dont you put a ring on it then
[14:02] * eppy runs
[14:02] SweetSue: i'll put yo momma on it

[14:10] [eppy] i got a "yo momma" app yesterday.. it only had two that I liked
[14:10] [tzcheezy_poof] yo mama had 2 that I liked
[14:10] [knarf] nice
[14:10] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[14:10] [eppy] one was.. tz's momma is so fat, that when she fell in love.. she broke it
[14:11] [@ClydeFrogger] eppy just got served
[14:11] [eppy] i did :(
[14:11] [eppy] the other was.. tz's momma is so ugly, i took her to a haunted house and she came away with a paycheck
[14:12] [@ClydeFrogger]
[14:12] [tzcheezy_poof] that one's not too bad
[14:12] [knarf] were those the 2 you liked?
[14:12] [@ClydeFrogger] haha

Friday Story Time!

(9:31:13 AM) knarf: i got a cool story

(9:31:30 AM) knarf: its from a lady who works with my sis in oklahoma

(9:31:40 AM) knarf: my sis told me about it last weekend

(9:32:22 AM) knarf: so the lady has a kid who is mentally challenged, i forgot what is wrong with him...hes old, but still like a kid, but he lives on his own

(9:32:42 AM) knarf: he called his mom and said he caught a troll

(9:32:51 AM) knarf: she was like, oh nice...ok

(9:33:14 AM) knarf: he called a couple times excited about the troll and she said she'd see him tomorrow and bring over groceries

(9:33:23 AM) knarf: so the next day she goes to this apt

(9:33:32 AM) knarf: she knocks and nothing

(9:33:42 AM) knarf: so she lets herself in and the place is quiet

(9:33:54 AM) knarf: finally goes to his bedroom and knocks

(9:34:07 AM) knarf: opens the door and it wont budge

(9:34:18 AM) knarf: has to force it open, he stacked furniture against the door

(9:34:39 AM) knarf: she finally gets it cracked open and something comes running out the door and out the front door

(9:34:49 AM) knarf: it was a midget

(9:34:52 AM) monkey_boy: no

(9:34:55 AM) knarf: yes

(9:34:55 AM) monkey_boy: no no no

(9:34:58 AM) monkey_boy: you're making this up

(9:35:01 AM) knarf: tiny little dude

(9:35:07 AM) monkey_boy: that's kidnapping

(9:35:12 AM) knarf: so she freaks out and chases after him

(9:35:14 AM) knarf: yup

(9:35:37 AM) knarf: she explained her kid was handicapped

(9:35:49 AM) knarf: turns out the kid was walking home and the midget was at a bus stop

(9:36:11 AM) knarf: when the kid saw the midget he got excited and just picked him up and took him home

(9:36:28 AM) knarf: they spent the whole day in the bedroom just starring at each other

(9:36:41 AM) knarf: the kid didnt want to fall asleep and let his troll escape

(9:37:00 AM) knarf: the poor guy didnt want to fall asleep cause who knows what this dudes going to do to him

(9:37:15 AM) monkey_boy: I think that's the best chataus stoy EVER

(9:37:16 AM) knarf: they just stared at each other til the mom came home

(9:37:22 AM) monkey_boy: I don't even care if it's fake or not

(9:37:27 AM) knarf: haha

(9:37:33 AM) knarf: i swears its real

imgur: Productivity Assassin

[07:02] *** ClydeFrogger has joined #chataus
[07:02] *** zelazny.freenode.net sets mode +ns
[07:33] *** chellers has joined #chataus
[07:33] [chellers] morning
[08:01] *** ClydeFrogger changed the channel topic
[08:09] *** knarf has joined #chataus
[08:14] [knarf] what is that bunny doing to the dog?
[08:17] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/IELyB
[08:17] * @ClydeFrogger plans to ruin knarfs productivity for today
[08:18] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/mWF9s
[08:21] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/LhROr
[08:21] *** eppy has joined #chataus
[08:28] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: you can not ruin that which does not exist
[08:28] [knarf] LKF is awesome
[08:29] [knarf] haha...dont know why but the seal one reminded me of oscar at first
[08:29] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[08:29] [@ClydeFrogger] i spent the last 20 mins on imgur
[08:32] [knarf] you see the demon sand castle?
[08:32] [@ClydeFrogger] yeah
[08:34] [knarf] see...i told you: http://imgur.com/gallery/zS2PX
[08:35] [@ClydeFrogger] sorry i didnt believe you, but i needed to see the proof on paper, not just you explaining it
[08:48] *** helga_ has joined #chataus
[08:51] [@ClydeFrogger] i dont wanna work, i just wanna bang on my drum all day
[08:55] [knarf] the perks of being geeky is funny
[08:55] [knarf] too bad i dont know people like that
[08:55] [helga_] maybe i'm late to the table on this, but i hate doing phone business with india
[08:55] *** monkey_boy has joined #chataus
[08:56] [knarf] i wanna see an SNL paradoy of phone sex lines being offshored to india
[08:56] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: write it up and send it in
[08:57] [knarf] im a lover not a writer
[08:57] [helga_] I like when i told him my new street name was "justin lane" he said, "cheston?"
[08:57] [helga_] and then spelled out "cheston"
[08:57] [helga_] uh, no.
[08:58] [@ClydeFrogger] why you giving him your street name?
[08:59] * @ClydeFrogger wonders if helga_ every watched any after school specials growing up
[08:59] [@ClydeFrogger] every=ever
[08:59] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: she gets in strangers cars and goes to their house with them, remember?
[08:59] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: thats why
[09:00] [monkey_boy] that sounds perfectly normal and safe
[09:01] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: where's your head at
[09:01] [monkey_boy] where's your head at
[09:01] [monkey_boy] where's your head at at at at at at
[09:01] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[09:02] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: is that some rihanna?
[09:02] [knarf] monkey_boy: maybe hitman monkey got him?
[09:02] [monkey_boy] you've heard the song
[09:02] [knarf] http://i.imgur.com/VEa0Y.jpg
[09:02] [knarf] fatboy slim?
[09:02] [monkey_boy] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4hFwJm41h4
[09:02] [monkey_boy] knarf: close. basement jaxx
[09:02] [monkey_boy] the video has monkeys
[09:02] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: ah
[09:03] [knarf] know the song, never heard of baskemt jaxx
[09:03] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: ahaha...have you been on imgur all morning?
[09:03] [monkey_boy] they have dj monkeys
[09:03] [knarf] umm...no
[09:03] [knarf] maybe
[09:03] [knarf] what time is it?
[09:03] [monkey_boy] 9:05
[09:04] [knarf] not ALL morning

Sales Dude Is Married :(

[08:43] *** monkey_boy has joined #chataus
[08:44] [knarf] monkey!!
[08:44] [ClydeFrogger] .msg knarf careful.  it could be a monkey imposter
[08:45] [monkey_boy] yo knarf
[08:45] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: contrary to what you thought, the entire state of NJ is not co
mprised of guidos and suntan oil
[08:45] [ClydeFrogger] that sucks
[08:46] [knarf] where in joyzee were ya?
[08:46] [monkey_boy] I flew into newark
[08:46] [monkey_boy] we stayed in Parssippany
[08:46] [monkey_boy] and the company was in...randolph/rudolph?
[08:46] [knarf] i spent a night in newark once
[08:47] [ClydeFrogger] uh-uh...who is "we"?!
[08:47] [knarf] longest month of my life
[08:47] [monkey_boy] it's like most places back east, it's all the same
[08:47] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: me and a sales dude
[08:47] [monkey_boy] and nothng happened (he's married :( )
[08:47] [ClydeFrogger] that sucks
[08:47] [monkey_boy] I did drop hints
[08:47] [monkey_boy] he's team edward too
[08:47] [ClydeFrogger] awesome
[08:47] [knarf] haha
[08:48] [monkey_boy] I saw some t-shirts in the minneapolis airport
[08:48] [monkey_boy] a bunch of girls were wearing them
[08:48] [monkey_boy] they were black with blue writing (I think it was blue, coulda been purple)
[08:49] [knarf] writing is cool
[08:49] [monkey_boy] they said "Team Edward (big X over Edward) Excel"
[08:49] [monkey_boy] so either it was some sort of jesus camp thing or they really love MS Office
[08:50] * ClydeFrogger didnt know Jesus used Excel
[08:50] [knarf] the book of life is an excel spreadsheet
[08:50] [knarf] its in MS Revelations
[08:50] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: jesus hates mac

SFÅTTII SFÅT

SFÅTTII SFÅT (aka chatty chat) Swedish Furniture Name blog roll call:

chellers: SFELLERS
clydefrog: KLLIDDEFRÅGGÖRD
eppy: EPPPPII
glitta: GLLITTA
helga: HELGA
knarf: KNNÅRF
LeMac: SLEMAC
LilPuppetTheBlue: SLILPYPPPETTEBJLY
monkey_boy: MÖNNKEI_BOII
noodleLeg: SNÅÅDDLELLEG
rolypoly: RÅLLIPPÅLII
tzcheezy_poof: TZSSEEZI_PÅÅF
djPoppinJ: DJPÖPPYNNJ
pablo: PÄBJLO

Your-Fak

[11:40] [monkey_boy] oh I found out Austin does have a Carl's JR
[11:40] [monkey_boy] except that it's on slaughter
[11:40] [monkey_boy] way down there
[11:40] [helga] what part? mopac? i-35?
[11:42] [helga] the closest i ever lived to a carl's junior was 1 block away
[11:42] [helga] they were right by my first college dorms
[11:43] [monkey_boy] helga: http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&cid=0,0,16320595795008618714&fb=1&hq=carl%27s+jr+slaughter&hnear=austin&gl=us&daddr=609+West+Slaughter+Lane,+Austin,+TX+78748-1668&geocode=9408149065331002444,30.173037,-97.800330&ei=tAdrS7yWEcfjnAehpfX0BQ&ved=0CA4QngIwAA&z=16
[11:44] [helga] field trip!
[11:44] [helga] that's pretty much Buda
[11:44] [monkey_boy] yep
[11:44] [monkey_boy] it's way down there
[11:49] [tzcheezy_poof] pretty sure they call that area Manchaca (pronounced locally as "Man-Shack")
[11:49] [tzcheezy_poof] and yep, it's way down there
[11:50] [monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: I'm pretty sure they call your face manchaca
[11:54] *** helga has quit IRC: Quit: Jorgan Morgan
[11:57] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: my face isn't speaking to you anymore
[11:57] [monkey_boy] haha

Oui-Oui

[monkey_boy] knarf: you serious about game day?
[knarf] chure, why not?
[monkey_boy] just askin'
[knarf] i can play
[monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger eppy?
[monkey_boy] helga_, debora, tzcheezy_poof are invited too
[tzcheezy_poof] sweet
[noodleLeg] monkey_boy, what am i invited to?
[monkey_boy] debora: game day on sat
[monkey_boy] no idea where or what time
[noodleLeg] virutally?
[noodleLeg] what game?
[eppy] i have a weddin' to attend
[eppy] not sure what time
* tzcheezy_poof hopes deb brings some yummy virtual queso
[eppy] but i doubt ill be able to do both
[knarf] thats too bad
[knarf] so just game day?
[eppy] helga knows what time the weds at
[helga] eppy: its at 5 p.m. we'd need to leave by 4ish
[monkey_boy] eppy: you know girls and weddings, she won't notice if you're not there. she'll be too busy oohing and aaahing
[helga] eppy: were you going to buy a new shirt and tie?
[helga] monkey_boy: i need a DD for the ride home, so yes... i need him there
[knarf] eppy: its barely february...you guys going to go for the record this year on weddings?
[monkey_boy] helga_: he can totally pick you up when you're ready to leave.
[monkey_boy] I'm sure we'll be done by then
[monkey_boy] .msg eppy and you won't have to get dressed up ether! score!
[helga] then.... is that 4 or 10?
[helga] firmware (my area) is doing a superbowl potluck on friday
[helga] i think its weird
[helga] are they trying to do it to raise moral?
[knarf] dont hate
* knarf wishes he was having a SB potluck
[knarf] helga_: when are you going to sched a patent meeting?
[helga] knarf: never
[knarf] is that next week or the week after?
* knarf always forgets when never is
[eppy] knarf: since the weddings not til 5PM.. I think I can make gameday.. we usually finish around lunch time
[knarf] w00p w00p
[knarf] you think ClydeFrogger will ruin it?
[eppy] its hard to say
[monkey_boy] he might OD on protein
[knarf] so then he wont be using his TV
[monkey_boy] lol
[monkey_boy] I think glitta will still want it
[ClydeFrogger] im down for a gameday
[ClydeFrogger] what time?
[ClydeFrogger] and where?
[eppy] 9am
[eppy] i dunno where
[eppy] what consoles we using?
[ClydeFrogger] monkey_boys?
[ClydeFrogger] ps3 and wii
[ClydeFrogger] i have that mario bros wii game
[ClydeFrogger] its 4 player
[monkey_boy] I only have a ps3
[knarf] 9 sounds good
[monkey_boy] I can bring sf4 and my save game
[monkey_boy] I won't be there at 9
[monkey_boy] closer to 10
[knarf] can play at my place if you guys don't mind driving, clyde's is more central
[monkey_boy] I can host if ClydeFrogger don't wanna.
[monkey_boy] but I don't have a wii
[eppy] wii
* eppy giggles
[knarf] haha
* knarf wonders what happend to monkey_boy's wii wii
[monkey_boy] I sold it
[monkey_boy] didn't play it
* eppy giggles some more