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Stare Down

[@ClydeFrogger] some pinchi pigeon was trying to stare me down right now
[noodleLeg] who won?
[@ClydeFrogger] i guess the pigeon did.  i had to go tot he bathroom
[noodleLeg] lol

You talkin' to me??

Warranty Voided

[09:25] [eppy] im pretty pissed.. i backed up my phone via itunes.. helga did a restore of my phone.. it then tells you to connect back to itunes.. when i did..it did a sync and shows that I have pretty much nothing on my phone. I hope I didnt loose what I had on my phone
[09:25] [@ClydeFrogger] you need to select the backup when you restore, i thought
[09:25] [knarf] did she choose the backup file to restore from?
[09:26] [eppy] i dont see where to choose that
[09:26] [knarf] eppy: the first problem was letting a girl try to fix your phone
[09:26] * @ClydeFrogger notices the silence
[09:26] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[09:26] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[09:26] [@ClydeFrogger] thats going in the archive
[09:26] [knarf] NOOOOOOOO
[09:26] [knarf] just jokes yo
[09:28] [knarf] so which one of you ruined kart today?
[09:28] *** tzcheezyP has quit IRC: Quit: rebooting
[09:28] [@ClydeFrogger] helga says she doesnt like how long the recent chat archive stories are

match.com profile #8675309

[13:54] [eppy] have an appointment with the doc.. bbl
[13:54] *** eppy has left #chataus
[14:08] * tzcheezyP wonders if eppy went to see the aye doctor
[14:09] * _bmr_ apologizes to everyone in chat for telling tzcheezyP about #chataus
[14:10] * tzcheezyP searches for tiny kicking shoes for ClydeBaby
[14:12] [@ClydeFrogger] _bmr_: and thats why ClydeBaby's first nut kick will involve you
[14:13] [tzcheezyP] yeah, cuz he's mean to me. tell him, ClydeFrogger
[14:13] [_bmr_] I probably deserve it
[14:14] * tzcheezyP is glad ClydeFrogger is watching out for him
[14:14] [@ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: that was a backdoor burn on you
[14:14] [tzcheezyP] wha wha whaaaaaaat???
[14:14] * tzcheezyP can't believe it
[14:15] * tzcheezyP suddenly feels a little of that backdoor burn, searches for his soothing cream
[14:15] [@ClydeFrogger] _bmr_: make him stop
[14:16] [tzcheezyP] enough! i have work to do
[14:16] * tzcheezyP does
[14:16] [_bmr_] tzcheezyP: can I have your GF's phone number? I promise I won't call her and let her know anonymously that you've been chatting with girls on match.com
[14:16] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[14:16] [tzcheezyP] 505-867-5309
[14:16] [_bmr_] huh
[14:16] [_bmr_] that seems suspiciously like an 80s song
[14:16] [tzcheezyP] jenny wasn't from the 505
[14:17] [@ClydeFrogger] _bmr_: time to hack tzcheezyP's email acct
[14:17] [@ClydeFrogger] _bmr_: afterall...an email would be better than a phone call
[14:17] [_bmr_] [sexaygrrl24@hotmail.com] OMG sweetie tzcheezyP, you say the cutest things!!! [3
[14:18] * tzcheezyP is glad at least sexaygrrl24 rekanizes
[14:18] [_bmr_] [nitevixxen1984@yahoo.com] I can't wait to go on our next date, camping is so fun!
[14:19] [tzcheezyP] it's eco-friendly, too
[14:19] [@ClydeFrogger] [docileandignorant@hotmail.com] dude, you left your backdoor burn cream at my house
[14:19] [_bmr_] [professionalhussy@gmail.com] I'm glad I'm the only girl you're talking to. I'd be super-jealous if you were dating anyone else.
[14:19] [_bmr_] ClydeFrogger: lol
[14:19] * @ClydeFrogger giggles to himself
[14:20] [@ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: does your lady friend know about our chat archive?
[14:20] [_bmr_] ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
[14:20] [tzcheezyP] don't think so
[14:20] [@ClydeFrogger] kewl
[14:20] [tzcheezyP] she's vaguely aware i have contact w/ some old college friends
[14:21] [_bmr_] does she know there's a girl in here?
[14:21] [@ClydeFrogger] "im a girl, you know"
[14:21] * tzcheezyP suspected
[14:21] [_bmr_] everyTING is musik
[14:21] [_bmr_] I open oven, throw in nickels, is musik!!
[14:21] [@ClydeFrogger] is that bjork?
[14:21] [_bmr_] yes
[14:21] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[14:21] [tzcheezyP] _bmr_: sorry, i missed that
[14:22] [_bmr_] classic SNL
[14:23] [_bmr_] What is light-urple?
[14:23] [@ClydeFrogger] hehe
[14:23] [_bmr_] I know kung-fu. For the last time, no you do not.
[14:23] [@ClydeFrogger] those were good skits
[14:24] [@ClydeFrogger] _bmr_: lets become ballerinas
[14:24] [tzcheezyP] don't forget what happened last time
[14:27] [tzcheezyP] don't miss me too much
[14:27] *** tzcheezyP has quit IRC: Quit: meetings
[14:28] [_bmr_] ClydeFrogger: uh, I like not having my toes bleed
[14:28] [_bmr_] or be completely neurotic about my weight and if I'm getting to old to be in the front
[14:28] [_bmr_] but I do love wearing short, frilly dresses.
[14:29] [@ClydeFrogger] you never wanna do anything fun
[14:31] [_bmr_] I know.  I suck so hard.

Vampires suck

[14:36] [@knarf] http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2356282,00.asp
[14:36] [ClydeFrogger_] sucka
[14:37] [@knarf] sucka mc in the place to be
[14:37] * _bmr_ wonders how many pictures of him are on facebook without his permission
[14:39] [ClydeFrogger_] _bmr_: theres a live stream of you on FB
[14:39] [ClydeFrogger_] smile
[14:44] * _bmr_ flips the bird
[14:44] [_bmr_] FU FB
[14:44] [@knarf] ClydeFrogger_: thats cute... _bmr_ thinks people like him enough to post fb pics of him
[14:45] [_bmr_] I am hoping the number of pics is zero
[14:45] [ClydeFrogger_] wtf?!  the dumb kid of bella and edward is gonna be like 10 in the next movie
[14:45] [_bmr_] vampires grow fast y'all
[14:46] [@knarf] i thought vampires dont age
[14:46] [ClydeFrogger_] yeah
[14:46] [ClydeFrogger_] while watching The Lost Boys this weekend
[14:46] [ClydeFrogger_] lori thought there should be a consortium to define the vampires rules
[14:47] [@knarf] good idea
[14:47] [_bmr_] good idea
[14:47] [_bmr_] get them all in one place and dump holy water all over it
[14:47] [ClydeFrogger_] none of these "glittery" vampires
[14:47] [ClydeFrogger_] no vampire babies
[14:48] [@knarf] metro vamps
[14:48] [ClydeFrogger_] pretty much anything from twilight
[14:48] [eppy] what if holy water as a vampire rule isnt accepted?
[14:48] [@knarf] holy water rule isnt on the table
[14:48] [ClydeFrogger_] eppy isnt allowed to help define rules
[14:50] [_bmr_] garlic, holy water, steaks through heart.
[14:50] [eppy] is that a vampire rule thats on the table?
[14:50] [_bmr_] that's all canon.
[14:50] [ClydeFrogger_] no sunlight
[14:50] [@knarf] UV light
[14:50] [_bmr_] crosses?
[14:50] [ClydeFrogger_] hmmm
[14:50] [@knarf] nikkon
[14:50] [@knarf] i mean, canon
[14:51] [_bmr_] what if I have a star of david. is that not holy enough?
[14:51] [ClydeFrogger_] nope
[14:51] [@knarf] wait, what are you wearing?
[14:51] [ClydeFrogger_] vampires be scurred of jesus
[14:51] [_bmr_] vampires are picky.
[14:51] [_bmr_] knarf: I'm dressed like a Hassidic jew.
[14:51] [eppy] lol
[14:52] [@knarf] we could put it on the table to put that on the table
[14:52] [ClydeFrogger_] garlic?
[14:52] [ClydeFrogger_] that one i can let go
[14:52] [ClydeFrogger_] doesnt make sense
[14:52] [@knarf] ok
[14:52] [_bmr_] can we get rid of the stupid hissing and showing fangs as a sign of threatening?
[14:52] [@knarf] garlic is out
[14:52] [_bmr_] what?!?
[14:52] [@knarf] galric is only good to get rid of kavorka
[14:52] [ClydeFrogger_] very true
[14:52] [_bmr_] this table is a sham.
[14:53] * _bmr_ bets obama are behind these new rules
[14:53] [ClydeFrogger_] can vamps be good guys?
[14:53] [eppy] they feed on people.. no
[14:53] [@knarf] no, cause then you get twlight all over again
[14:54] [ClydeFrogger_] i agree
[14:54] [_bmr_] y'all better hope noodleLeg doesn't notice this discussion
[14:54] [tzcheezyP] long as it's not zombies, she'll be ok
[14:55] [ClydeFrogger_] no vampire babies
[14:55] [tzcheezyP] or Fo-Realz ghosts
[14:55] [eppy] booo
[14:55] [@knarf] so, is it ANY place that cant go into unless invited, or just your own personal home?
[14:55] [tzcheezyP] knarf: homes
[14:55] [ClydeFrogger_] personal homes
[14:55] [@knarf] like, if they go for a slurpee, do they have to wait at the door until ravi welcomes them in?
[14:55] [ClydeFrogger_] so they can kick it at the food court
[14:55] [@knarf] what if ravi lives in the back?
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] if its part of his domicile
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] then he cant
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] well
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] wait
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] vamp can go into the store, since thats public
[14:56] [tzcheezyP] if ravi goes all superstar and invites them to enter at the rear, well then...
[14:56] [@knarf] just not the back room?
[14:56] [ClydeFrogger_] but cant go past the "do not enter/employees only" door
[14:57] [@knarf] makes sense
[14:57] * noodleLeg scrolls up to see what she missed
[14:57] [eppy] .msg noodleLeg tz started it
[14:57] [noodleLeg] lol consortium to define vampire rules...i love it
[14:57] [_bmr_] this reminds me of a story when I was hanging out with my step-sister a few years back.
[14:58] * noodleLeg wants to be nominated to be on that committee
[14:58] [_bmr_] I went to taco cabana with her and 2 of her friends
[14:58] [ClydeFrogger_] is your step-sister a vampire?
[14:58] [_bmr_] her friends were weird….
[14:58] [_bmr_] like really weird.
[14:58] [ClydeFrogger_] all white girls ar elike that
[14:58] [_bmr_] they started a discussion about how they took as fact that vampires exist.
[14:58] [_bmr_] and how the government hides the truth
[14:58] [_bmr_] this was before twilight
[14:59] [tzcheezyP] gubment hides the tooth
[14:59] [@knarf] haha
[14:59] * noodleLeg wants a "Say No to glittery vampires" bumper sticker
[14:59] [_bmr_] one of the girls didn't do anything in her life w/o consulting her fortune teller.
[14:59] [_bmr_] my step-sis and I were...surprised.
[14:59] [ClydeFrogger_] now...how does one vampire turn another into a vampire
[14:59] [_bmr_] she stopped hanging out with those girls after a while
[15:00] [_bmr_] ClydeFrogger_: by starting at the girl for a LONG time and then protecting her from danger
[15:00] [ClydeFrogger_] _bmr_: how dare you
[15:00] [_bmr_] haha
[15:00] [noodleLeg] knarf: good question...maybe they can only go to restaurants cuz they have hosts welcoming them at the door
[15:00] [ClydeFrogger_] we're trying to better society
[15:00] [ClydeFrogger_] and you're making jokes
[15:00] [_bmr_] the only way to better society is to kill them all
[15:01] [_bmr_] the council has agreed they can never be good because they eat us.
[15:01] [noodleLeg] _bmr_: wow
[15:01] [ClydeFrogger_] _bmr_: we already said they cant be good
[15:01] [ClydeFrogger_] so thats given
[15:01] [_bmr_] noodleLeg: you wouldn't defend vampires if they looked like gigantic cockroaches
[15:01] [eppy] .msg bmr: noodle's a known sympathizer
[15:01] [noodleLeg] _bmr_: as much as i love vampires, i'm pretty sure they don't exist
[15:01] [noodleLeg] unlike ghosts
[15:01] [eppy] oh boy
[15:02] [_bmr_] haha
[15:02] [noodleLeg] _bmr_: true
[15:02] [ClydeFrogger_] vampire ghosts
[15:02] [_bmr_] chat is good today :D
[15:02] [noodleLeg] helga is missing all this vampire chat
[15:02] [_bmr_] wait…don't ghosts supposedly feed off of people's energy?
[15:02] [_bmr_] doesn't that make ghosts like spirit vampires?
[15:02] [ClydeFrogger_] no
[15:02] [ClydeFrogger_] they just like pissing people off by stacking chairs and stealing little white girls
[15:03] [_bmr_] white people have lots of supernatural problems.
[15:03] [@knarf] they dont feed
[15:03] [ClydeFrogger_] i prolly should pay attention to the meeting topics
[15:03] [noodleLeg] oh no....Olive is half white
[15:03] [@knarf] ClydeFrogger_: a bite, thats all it takes
[15:03] [noodleLeg] wait, only 1/4....whew
[15:03] [ClydeFrogger_] knarf: so no transfer of blood
[15:03] [@knarf] unless they drain too much blood and kill them before the transformation is complete
[15:04] [_bmr_] noodleLeg: you wait and see. it's not all country clubs and looking down on other people
[15:04] [@knarf] well, the transfer is implied with the bite
[15:04] [ClydeFrogger_] k
[15:04] [ClydeFrogger_] ahhh
[15:04] [noodleLeg] if ghosts want to move things around...why don't think clean
[15:04] [@knarf] like, they just cant poke them with a stick and drain blood
[15:04] [noodleLeg] maybe they'd be more popular
[15:04] [_bmr_] knarf: what if a vampire gives blood to a hospital
[15:04] [_bmr_] and that blood is given in a transfusion
[15:04] [tzcheezyP] mexico has la llorona and the chupacabras... it balances out
[15:05] [@knarf] _bmr_: hmm...we may have to leave that on the table for a while
[15:05] [ClydeFrogger_] _bmr_: then that hospital failed its background check on its donors
[15:05] [@knarf] may take more than just an afternoon
[15:05] [noodleLeg] _bmr_: why would a vampire give their blood to a hospital?
[15:05] [@knarf] ClydeFrogger_: what if the vamp lies and under, "Are you a vampire?" they check NO?
[15:05] [noodleLeg] lol
[15:06] [ClydeFrogger_] oh...dont take bood donations during the day
[15:06] [ClydeFrogger_] i mean
[15:06] [ClydeFrogger_] at night
[15:06] [@knarf] good call
[15:06] [_bmr_] haha
[15:06] [noodleLeg] ClydeFrogger_: smart
[15:06] [_bmr_] ClydeFrogger_: if they have that question twice we should be ok
[15:06] [_bmr_] are you a vampire? [] yes []no
[15:06] [_bmr_] ...
[15:07] [_bmr_] are you not a vampire? []yes []no []I loathe the undead
[15:07] [_bmr_] that'll fool em
[15:07] [ClydeFrogger_] haha
[15:08] [eppy] how 'bout we put all the blood clinics in bmr's home that way.. he can say theyre not welcome
[15:08] [_bmr_] ouuuu sneaky
[15:08] [ClydeFrogger_] thats a lot of blood in one place
[15:08] [noodleLeg] _bmr_'s house will become quite popular with all the vampires

[15:09] [@knarf] when the blood is all in one place....STAY FREE MAXIPADS!!
[15:09] [ClydeFrogger_] haha
[15:09] [_bmr_] I'll just live in a glass house and make sure the sun is always shining into it
[15:10] [_bmr_] at night there's no blood available, I'll have it shipped to hospitals
[15:10] [noodleLeg] glass house...smart
[15:10] [_bmr_] I'll also have a lot of crosses around
[15:10] [_bmr_] but no star of davids or crecent moons
[15:10] [_bmr_] that crap doesn't cut it.
[15:10] [ClydeFrogger_] nope

Limo-Zeen

[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: oh, got a limo driver question for ya
[eppy] uhm.. do you always wear black.. and are those windows bullet proof and have you ever had to drive other limo drivers.. and whats the longest stretch limo?
[tzcheezyP] ok
[ClydeFrogger] if you drove around 8 ladies to a couple wineries and it was about 4 hours total time, what sort of tip would you expect?
[ClydeFrogger] eppy: nice
[tzcheezyP] ClydeFrogger: 20% is the target. if you get close to that, you're doing good
[eppy] clyde: dont forget they brought their own snack and you take good pics
[knarf] haha
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: k. yeah, the limo dude who drove around lori and them wanted a $200 tip
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: when lori asked what does he do to deserve a $200 tip
[tzcheezyP] how much was the total price??
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: he said "i make sure you all have a good time...and ill open the door for you all...and when i take pics, ill make sure everyone is in them"
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: think it was around $300 or $400
[tzcheezyP] this dude sounds pretty damn greedy
[eppy] clyde: but thats the groupon value
[eppy] wasnt that?
* ClydeFrogger shrugs
[ClydeFrogger] i thought the groupon was less
[tzcheezyP] $400 for 4 hours isn't that much of a bargain
[ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: but are you accounting for door opening and solid picture taking skills?
[tzcheezyP] the really long stretch SUVs can go a lot higher, though
[tzcheezyP] door opening is the job, not a bonus
[eppy] you guys dont get it.. EVERYONE is in the pictures
[ClydeFrogger] haha
[ClydeFrogger] even random people
[knarf] haha
[eppy] waldo.. that hiding japanese panda dude.. winery dude.. everyone
[ClydeFrogger] hhahahaha
[eppy] himself!
[ClydeFrogger] you wont see them...but they are there
[knarf] lol
[knarf] he photobombs every pic
[ClydeFrogger] haha
[ClydeFrogger] i think we should send this guy some more tip money for making us laugh this morning
[eppy] youre really paying to hang out with him.. going to wineries is just part of the experience
[tzcheezyP] literally a paid escort service
[ClydeFrogger] i think they said he was a creepy dude too
[ClydeFrogger] like he would kinda hang around them when they were kickin it at the wineries
[ClydeFrogger] lori was scared to take out her camera to take pics
[eppy] haha
[tzcheezyP] she should have gotten at least one shot of him, in case the police needed it
[ClydeFrogger] haha

Brianwashed Anxiety

[09:14] [eppy] bmr: do you have lunch plans?
[09:14] [tzcheezyP] eppy: for the Raleigh trip, is the date fixed and the go/no-go is in the air, or is it all in the air?
[09:15] [eppy] i forget if youre even capable of having lunch with us
[09:15] [eppy] tz: all in the air
[09:16] [tzcheezyP] _bmr_: are you past your 6-months mandatory joining on Fri lunch, yet? or do you just like your new friends more gooder?
[09:17] * tzcheezyP is totally whipped on lunch cuz his gf gets pissy if he doesn't go with her every single day
[09:17] [ClydeFrogger] tzcheezyP: seriously?
[09:17] [tzcheezyP] pretty much
[09:17] [ClydeFrogger] scary
[09:17] [tzcheezyP] si
[09:18] [tzcheezyP] i'm immune to it, as long as i don't think about it
[09:18] [tzcheezyP] we don't live together, so most weekdays it's our only significant time
[09:19] [eppy] is not living together a new thing or its been like that?
[09:19] [tzcheezyP] always that way
[09:19] [tzcheezyP] i spend weekends there plus 1 weekday
[09:19] [tzcheezyP] unless morgan is out of town
[09:20] [tzcheezyP] ... like spring break, starting tomorrow
[09:20] [ClydeFrogger] eppy: thanks for bringing up tzcheezyP's sleeping arrangements
[09:20] * ClydeFrogger tries to wash his brain
[09:21] [eppy] dont forget behind the ears
[09:21] [tzcheezyP] brainwashing... oh, oh... laurie gave me some stuff for that
[09:22] [ClydeFrogger] ./msg eppy who's "laurie"?
[09:22] [eppy] i think i messed up asking bmr. He's prolly squirreled away in the closet now for the thought of interacting with others
[09:22] [tzcheezyP] nah, he's just busy, ever and always
[09:23] [eppy] dunno.. im gonna get a raw hide for him to chew anyways.. always helps chaunce with anxiety