Scarier Meter: Ghosts vs. Devil

[ClydeFrog] whos gonna watch NoES tomorrow?
[tzcheezy_poof] if not tomorrow, then saturday (taking nieces/nephews)
[ClydeFrog] nice
[helga] ClydeFrogger: is someone cute (like johnny depp) in NoES?
[ClydeFrog] Kelly from the Bad News Bears is in it
* tzcheezy_poof doesn't understand why helga_ can't appreciate freddy's inner beauty
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: when you gonna go watch NoES?
[ClydeFrog] dont know
[ClydeFrog] you said holly doesnt want to see it, right?
[ClydeFrog] lori already gave a "no" on it
[ClydeFrog] that almost broke up out marriage
[knarf] yup, no go for holly
[knarf] shes already freaking out cause she thinks theres a lil girl ghost in the house
[ClydeFrog] oh yeah
[ClydeFrog] what happened with that
[knarf] yesterday the boys scared her...
[knarf] she went in to their room after nap to get them out
[knarf] they both moved to look behind her (the way we do when we play peekaboo) and smiled at the open closet door
[ClydeFrog] freaky
[knarf] she was freaked
[knarf] she hadnt gone back in the room until bath time last night while i was there
[tzcheezy_poof] you suggest adopting the little girl
[ClydeFrog] knarf: sounds like you need ClydeFroggers Surveilance to set up some vid cameras
[tzcheezy_poof] you=you should
[knarf] i stayed with the boys in the bathroom...and she went to face her fears and close the closet door
[knarf] i rolled a ball in the room when she did...that didnt help
[tzcheezy_poof] acehole.
[ClydeFrog] nice
* tzcheezy_poof applauds
[ClydeFrog] knarf: so why do you guys think its a little girl
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf: should tell her you just wanted to see if jeze would chase the ball...even with a ghost in there
[ClydeFrog] does the ghost suck at driving or video games?
[knarf] dont know why she thinks its a girl...something with the toy that "she" was playing downstairs that other time i mentioned it
[knarf] haha
[knarf] holly just msg me "jordan had a walkie talkie and someone started talking freeked me out"
[ClydeFrog] uhoh
[knarf] a mans voice
[knarf] she doesnt know why she thought a girl, she just felt we needed a lil girl
[knarf] i asked her what the voice said...
[knarf] "Holly: i dont know I heard it a few times and thought the fan was making a wierd noise. then went to take the walkie talkie away from jordan an a man spoke again...i turned it off right away. Holly: scare me"
[knarf] happened in the boys room
* knarf needs a better camera
[tzcheezy_poof] adopt. tell her you're bringing a ghost home from work who knows a good dead attorney who'll work cheap. will work for chicken feed... er... chicken blood
[knarf] one with an ectoplasam filter
[ClydeFrog] here ya go... http://www.ghosthuntingtools.net/
[ClydeFrog] its a real site
[ClydeFrog] uh, how is this a ghost hunting tool... http://ghosthuntingtools.net/product_info.php?products_id=241&osCsid=179b9794749b555bf17e499416f45e8e
[knarf] hopefully the ghost doesnt see holly's webrowsing...this'll piss it off fer sure
[ClydeFrog] knarf: get these... http://ghosthuntingtools.net/product_info.php?products_id=246&osCsid=179b9794749b555bf17e499416f45e8e
[knarf] i just hope its a Raiders fan
[knarf] if not, im crackin skulls
[knarf] oh heck yeah, i need those goggles
[knarf] wheres monkey? i need someone to buy'em
[ClydeFrog] hes even in vegas. just tell him to play the slots
[ClydeFrog] theres an app for that... http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/voco-spiritus/id339913847?mt=8
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf: ad says they're water resistant and have a flip flop mechanism... perfect for the beach! (a haunted beach at night)
* tzcheezy_poof hopes knarf brings scooby snacks
[ClydeFrog] this is good. from some dude who posted in a forum thread... "i really don't trust the ghos hunting applications on the iphone... all the ones i have found are for entertainment purposes."
[tzcheezy_poof] unbeleevers like him are pisseng of the spirits
[knarf] ClydeFrogger: lol
* knarf_ has joined #chataus
* knarf Quit
* knarf_ Quit
[tzcheezy_poof] this guy wouldn't have gotten off in the US... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/nottinghamshire/8652243.stm
[tzcheezy_poof] scenes like that make it scary to consider becoming a teacher....
[tzcheezy_poof] It emerged during the four-day trial that pupils at the school were trying to wind up Harvey so his reaction could be caught on a camcorder being used secretly by a girl in the class. The footage was then to be passed around the school as a way of "humiliating" the teacher.
[ClydeFrog] this one is better.. "The court heard that he shouted "die, die, die" as he bludgeoned the boy with the weight after the pupil swore at him. "
[tzcheezy_poof] he only hit him twice, so i'm sure he didn't mean it the 3rd time
* noodleLeg wished she had read the chat she missed
* noodleLeg is going to have nightmares
[noodleLeg] Olive has freaked me out like the boys did Holly
[tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: i'm sure the ghost that olive plays with isn't as creepy as knarf's
[noodleLeg] she stares off into space and i get freaked out, thinking is your grandpa John looking at you, if so i don't want to know
[noodleLeg] keep saying it outloud so all ghosts know i don't care to see them
[tzcheezy_poof] so... you're NOT going to borrow knarf's goggles when he's done?
[noodleLeg] absolutely not
* tzcheezy_poof doesn't think noodleLeg will win America's Funniest Ghost Videos with an attitude like that
[noodleLeg] when i was growing up my mom always told me ghost stories of how my grandma (who passed away before i was born) would come to see me when i was a baby
* noodleLeg has been terrified of ghosts ever since
[noodleLeg] why would my mom tell me stuff like that when i was little??
[ClydeFrog] noodleLeg: thats nothing. my mom has your mom beat
* noodleLeg if its about ghosts i don't think i want to hear the story
[ClydeFrog] it isnt
[ClydeFrog] not about ghosts
[noodleLeg] ok then go ahead
[ClydeFrog] wanna hear?
[ClydeFrog] my mom used to tell me if i didnt eat my lunch and wasted it, the devil would come visit me
[noodleLeg] wonder if your mom and my mom hung out
[noodleLeg] my mom used to tell me that if you swept the floor at night it woke up all the spirits in the house
[ClydeFrog] at least it sounds like your mom was trying to say something sweet
[ClydeFrog] my mom just straight up used that as a threat
[noodleLeg] true your mom was meaner
[ClydeFrog] and thats why i was a fat kid
[noodleLeg] but my mom was probably better at scaring me
[ClydeFrog] alright, im outs
[noodleLeg] don't know why ghosts are way scarier than ghosts
[noodleLeg] oops
[noodleLeg] scarier than the devil
* ClydeFrogger Quit
[tzcheezy_poof] golly, i think i'd rather be visited by ghosts than by the devil
* tzcheezy_poof looks around, wonders who closed his office door and turned out the lights
[tzcheezy_poof] oh, yeah, that was me. plenty of light from the window and i didn't want to disturb anyone while i was on the phone
* tzcheezy_poof checks under his desk anyway, just in case
[tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: does it snow much in portland?
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: lots of snow in the mountains around here, but not much in the city
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: usually a couple to a few days a year
[tzcheezy_poof] rains plenty, though, right?
[eppy] do the ghosts like the snow?
[noodleLeg] tzcheezy_poof: although a couple of years ago portland had snow for almost 2 weeks straight, it was very odd weather for up here, luckily we were visiting relatives in texas for most of it
[noodleLeg] eppy: i bet your sad you missed all the ghost talk huh?
* noodleLeg runs off to a diff irc channel
[eppy] it was gold.. im sure it'll make the archive

Kids...

[knarf] monkey_boy: wanna go see nightmare on elm street?
[monkey_boy] dangit
[monkey_boy] where's clyde
[monkey_boy] knarf: I don't like elm street movies
[knarf] well, can you take me and clyde? we promise to be good on our own and meet you out front as soon as its over.
[knarf] maybe you can take us to McD's after?
* tzcheezy_poof wants knarf's happy meal toy if he already got one like it
[monkey_boy] knarf: I still haven't seen that progress report from Mrs. Tillman
[monkey_boy] she told me she gave it to you but you said you lost it.
[monkey_boy] once I see the report we'll talk.
[tzcheezy_poof] .msg knarf dude, i can totally forge her sig... kinda
[knarf] monkey_boy: i gave it to you already...i made up for the all late homework i turned by staying late and doing her "extra credit"
* tzcheezy_poof misses clyde telling him that his face is forged
[knarf] monkey_boy: mustve misplaced it
[tzcheezy_poof> [monkey_boy] knarf: well buster, if you misplaced that then I misplaced the time to take you to the movies.
[monkey_boy] school before play young man
[monkey_boy] and money doesn't grow on trees
[monkey_boy] oh and listen to your mother.
[tzcheezy_poof] and freddy kruger is a tool of the devil
* monkey_boy sighs and wonders when tzcheezy_poof's mom is going to pick him up. He's been here for 3 hours longer than his mom promised.
* tzcheezy_poof starts looking through knarf's toybox to see which one should "accidentally" end up in tzcheezy_poof's backpack
* monkey_boy looks for his bottle of pills
[knarf] but daa-AAA-aahhh-ad
* knarf hopes everyone else heard that cartman style
[monkey_boy] no buts knarf. good grades mean you can get a job and I don't have to support your butt anymore.
[monkey_boy] so hop to it.
* knarf kicks tzcheezy_poof's voltron and runs to his room
[knarf] monkey_boy: I HATE YOU! youre always ruining my life!
* knarf slams his door
* tzcheezy_poof snickers cuz that was actually knarf's voltron
* tzcheezy_poof knocks on knarf's door
[tzcheezy_poof] dude, i think i left ... uh... one of MY toys in your toybox
[tzcheezy_poof] i don't know which one yet
* knarf cracks the door open and hands him clyde's rubix cube
* monkey_boy wonders if general hospital is on yet
[tzcheezy_poof] hmmm, that *might* be it, but the stickers are all wrong
* tzcheezy_poof starts rearranging the stickers
* monkey_boy wonders if his stash of gin is still there
* knarf never liked the Pic-N-Save version of the real Rubik's Cube...only had 2 colors
* tzcheezy_poof decides that the orange stickers don't taste as good as they look, spits 3 of them out
[tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: tell comedy cental that allah is cool with them releasing episode 201
* monkey_boy enjoys his "water" and general hospital storytime and ignores the racket the kids are making
* tzcheezy_poof tugs on monkey_boy's sleeve
[tzcheezy_poof] knarf's dad!
[tzcheezy_poof] mr knarf
[tzcheezy_poof] mr
[tzcheezy_poof] hey, mr
* monkey_boy wonders if tzcheezy_poof's mom would notice if tzcheezy_poof "fell down"
* knarf grabs a box of matches and sneaks out the back door
[tzcheezy_poof] so, my mom called. she said she needs to win back the rent and probably can't leave the game for another couple hours. is it ok if I stay a little longer?
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: no.
[tzcheezy_poof] she said tell him "the next one's free". she said you'd know what that means.
* monkey_boy needs to teach knarf and clyde how to unfriend people
[monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: no x 100
* tzcheezy_poof looks at the smoke rising from mr knarf's shed in the backyard...
[tzcheezy_poof] ok, bye then. i'll catch a bus
* knarf runs back in the house out of breath
[knarf] i didnt do it!
* knarf runs back to his room
* monkey_boy wonders if the army is still looking for reqcruits to iraq

yo mama

[15:04] ClydeFrogger: im gonna finish up from home
[15:06] eppy: dontcha feel guilty doing that?
[15:06] ClydeFrogger: dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
[15:07] ClydeFrogger: eppy: nah...not when i work a couple more hours when i get home...and work weekends...and work yo momma

[14:17] eppy: visited a buddy last night who has a 13 year.. she was using an animation website named.. aniboom
[14:17] eppy: went home and tried it out.. pretty neat
[14:17] eppy: easy to use
[14:17] ClydeFrogger: uhoh
[14:17] eppy: old news?
[14:17] * ClydeFrogger holds back the "yo momma" joke
[14:18] eppy: i couldnt hold back yo momma if i tried
[14:18] * eppy runs
[14:18] knarf: haha
[14:19] ClydeFrogger: touche, eppy...touche

[11:04] ClydeFrogger: eppy: so what time for taco bell?
[11:09] eppy: hammer time
[11:10] ClydeFrogger: is that like in 20 mins?
[11:11] eppy: i thought taco bell closed
[11:11] ClydeFrogger: just the one by my house
[11:11] ClydeFrogger: not the one on parmer
[11:12] eppy: how has taco bell not gotten banned over the years?
[11:13] ClydeFrogger: they have a new "fresca" menu
[11:13] eppy: lol
[11:14] eppy: you know this is why wii fit calls you a fatty
[11:20] *** noodleLeg has joined #chataus.
[11:21] ClydeFrogger: eppy: fine, if you wanna be like that
[11:21] eppy: chill out, man
[11:22] eppy: take a breather
[11:26] eppy: bring me back a bean burrito
[11:27] ClydeFrogger: how 'bout i just wrap yo momma in a blanket and give you that
[11:31] eppy: ill staying with the bean burrito

[14:02] eppy: why dont you put a ring on it then
[14:02] * eppy runs
[14:02] SweetSue: i'll put yo momma on it

[14:10] [eppy] i got a "yo momma" app yesterday.. it only had two that I liked
[14:10] [tzcheezy_poof] yo mama had 2 that I liked
[14:10] [knarf] nice
[14:10] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[14:10] [eppy] one was.. tz's momma is so fat, that when she fell in love.. she broke it
[14:11] [@ClydeFrogger] eppy just got served
[14:11] [eppy] i did :(
[14:11] [eppy] the other was.. tz's momma is so ugly, i took her to a haunted house and she came away with a paycheck
[14:12] [@ClydeFrogger]
[14:12] [tzcheezy_poof] that one's not too bad
[14:12] [knarf] were those the 2 you liked?
[14:12] [@ClydeFrogger] haha

Friday Story Time!

(9:31:13 AM) knarf: i got a cool story

(9:31:30 AM) knarf: its from a lady who works with my sis in oklahoma

(9:31:40 AM) knarf: my sis told me about it last weekend

(9:32:22 AM) knarf: so the lady has a kid who is mentally challenged, i forgot what is wrong with him...hes old, but still like a kid, but he lives on his own

(9:32:42 AM) knarf: he called his mom and said he caught a troll

(9:32:51 AM) knarf: she was like, oh nice...ok

(9:33:14 AM) knarf: he called a couple times excited about the troll and she said she'd see him tomorrow and bring over groceries

(9:33:23 AM) knarf: so the next day she goes to this apt

(9:33:32 AM) knarf: she knocks and nothing

(9:33:42 AM) knarf: so she lets herself in and the place is quiet

(9:33:54 AM) knarf: finally goes to his bedroom and knocks

(9:34:07 AM) knarf: opens the door and it wont budge

(9:34:18 AM) knarf: has to force it open, he stacked furniture against the door

(9:34:39 AM) knarf: she finally gets it cracked open and something comes running out the door and out the front door

(9:34:49 AM) knarf: it was a midget

(9:34:52 AM) monkey_boy: no

(9:34:55 AM) knarf: yes

(9:34:55 AM) monkey_boy: no no no

(9:34:58 AM) monkey_boy: you're making this up

(9:35:01 AM) knarf: tiny little dude

(9:35:07 AM) monkey_boy: that's kidnapping

(9:35:12 AM) knarf: so she freaks out and chases after him

(9:35:14 AM) knarf: yup

(9:35:37 AM) knarf: she explained her kid was handicapped

(9:35:49 AM) knarf: turns out the kid was walking home and the midget was at a bus stop

(9:36:11 AM) knarf: when the kid saw the midget he got excited and just picked him up and took him home

(9:36:28 AM) knarf: they spent the whole day in the bedroom just starring at each other

(9:36:41 AM) knarf: the kid didnt want to fall asleep and let his troll escape

(9:37:00 AM) knarf: the poor guy didnt want to fall asleep cause who knows what this dudes going to do to him

(9:37:15 AM) monkey_boy: I think that's the best chataus stoy EVER

(9:37:16 AM) knarf: they just stared at each other til the mom came home

(9:37:22 AM) monkey_boy: I don't even care if it's fake or not

(9:37:27 AM) knarf: haha

(9:37:33 AM) knarf: i swears its real

imgur: Productivity Assassin

[07:02] *** ClydeFrogger has joined #chataus
[07:02] *** zelazny.freenode.net sets mode +ns
[07:33] *** chellers has joined #chataus
[07:33] [chellers] morning
[08:01] *** ClydeFrogger changed the channel topic
[08:09] *** knarf has joined #chataus
[08:14] [knarf] what is that bunny doing to the dog?
[08:17] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/IELyB
[08:17] * @ClydeFrogger plans to ruin knarfs productivity for today
[08:18] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/mWF9s
[08:21] [@ClydeFrogger] http://imgur.com/gallery/LhROr
[08:21] *** eppy has joined #chataus
[08:28] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: you can not ruin that which does not exist
[08:28] [knarf] LKF is awesome
[08:29] [knarf] haha...dont know why but the seal one reminded me of oscar at first
[08:29] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[08:29] [@ClydeFrogger] i spent the last 20 mins on imgur
[08:32] [knarf] you see the demon sand castle?
[08:32] [@ClydeFrogger] yeah
[08:34] [knarf] see...i told you: http://imgur.com/gallery/zS2PX
[08:35] [@ClydeFrogger] sorry i didnt believe you, but i needed to see the proof on paper, not just you explaining it
[08:48] *** helga_ has joined #chataus
[08:51] [@ClydeFrogger] i dont wanna work, i just wanna bang on my drum all day
[08:55] [knarf] the perks of being geeky is funny
[08:55] [knarf] too bad i dont know people like that
[08:55] [helga_] maybe i'm late to the table on this, but i hate doing phone business with india
[08:55] *** monkey_boy has joined #chataus
[08:56] [knarf] i wanna see an SNL paradoy of phone sex lines being offshored to india
[08:56] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: write it up and send it in
[08:57] [knarf] im a lover not a writer
[08:57] [helga_] I like when i told him my new street name was "justin lane" he said, "cheston?"
[08:57] [helga_] and then spelled out "cheston"
[08:57] [helga_] uh, no.
[08:58] [@ClydeFrogger] why you giving him your street name?
[08:59] * @ClydeFrogger wonders if helga_ every watched any after school specials growing up
[08:59] [@ClydeFrogger] every=ever
[08:59] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: she gets in strangers cars and goes to their house with them, remember?
[08:59] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: thats why
[09:00] [monkey_boy] that sounds perfectly normal and safe
[09:01] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: where's your head at
[09:01] [monkey_boy] where's your head at
[09:01] [monkey_boy] where's your head at at at at at at
[09:01] [@ClydeFrogger] haha
[09:02] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: is that some rihanna?
[09:02] [knarf] monkey_boy: maybe hitman monkey got him?
[09:02] [monkey_boy] you've heard the song
[09:02] [knarf] http://i.imgur.com/VEa0Y.jpg
[09:02] [knarf] fatboy slim?
[09:02] [monkey_boy] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4hFwJm41h4
[09:02] [monkey_boy] knarf: close. basement jaxx
[09:02] [monkey_boy] the video has monkeys
[09:02] [@ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: ah
[09:03] [knarf] know the song, never heard of baskemt jaxx
[09:03] [@ClydeFrogger] knarf: ahaha...have you been on imgur all morning?
[09:03] [monkey_boy] they have dj monkeys
[09:03] [knarf] umm...no
[09:03] [knarf] maybe
[09:03] [knarf] what time is it?
[09:03] [monkey_boy] 9:05
[09:04] [knarf] not ALL morning