Fashion Nirvana

[16:15] [monkey_boy] knarf: fashion 2.0 http://i51.tinypic.com/wujrrr.png
[16:15] [monkey_boy] helga is missing out

Perfect Square Day

[10:47] *** monkey_boy has changed the topic on channel #chataus to Happy perfect square day!.
[10:50] helga_: 3-3-9
[10:51] monkey_boy: next one is 4-4-16 then 5-5-25
[10:51] monkey_boy: so enjoy it!
[10:51] * knarf kicks square day in the nads
[10:51] knarf: and dont come back!
[10:52] * monkey_boy wonders why he even bothers
[10:52] knarf: cause your OCD?
[10:53] monkey_boy: good point
[10:53] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads
[10:55] monkey_boy: can you kick it exactly 10 times in the nads?
[10:55] monkey_boy: 1 time is a grumpy number
[10:55] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads 9 more times
[11:00] helga_: 1 is the lonliest number
[11:00] * knarf kicks OCD in the nads for the 11th time when monkey_boy isnt looking
[11:02] monkey_boy: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's too many
[11:02] monkey_boy: now it needs 9 more
[11:02] * knarf empties his pockets
[11:02] knarf: sorry monkey_boy, no more kicks left
[11:02] knarf: ive got 9 piece of lint
[11:02] * monkey_boy kicks OCD 9 times in the nads
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's not the same
[11:02] monkey_boy: it's 11 knarf and 9 monkey_boy
[11:03] monkey_boy: :(
[11:04] helga_: monkey_boy needs to go on True Life: I Have OCD (part 2)
[11:04] monkey_boy: you think you know, but you don't know
[11:08] * monkey_boy wonders where clyde is
[11:09] monkey_boy: I bet he's talking to his OM about how dumb his utep chat friends are

Low Water Mark

[14:48] [eppy] helga: didyou already share our story to chat about our visit to monkey's to get the ps2 going?
[14:52] [knarf] helga_: i joined NF about an hour or 2 ago
[14:52] [SweetSue] oh...is it sharing time
[14:56] [noodleLeg] time for physical therapy, bbl
[14:58] [eppy] oh.. well here it goes..thx sue
[14:59] [eppy] so we bugged monkey about fixing our ps2 that we got about 2 years ago
[14:59] [eppy] went to his house.. turns out that it was just that the hard drive in the ps2 was disconnected
[14:59] [eppy] moral of the story is im a moron
[15:01] [monkey_boy] nah
[15:01] [monkey_boy] you're not a moron
[15:01] [monkey_boy] you just didn't know they could come loose so easily
[15:02] [SweetSue] we new that when you told us about the water leak
[15:04] [eppy] the water leak was a low water mark

The $400 Water Bill

[09:47] eppy: i got a 400 dollar utility bill yesterday
[09:48] monkey_boy: :O
[09:48] monkey_boy: did the mouse leave the water running or something??
[09:48] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: thats what happens when the party never stops at eppys
[09:48] eppy: apparently my water usage was 5 times what it normally is
[09:48] eppy: i dont know whats wrong
[09:50] eppy: i got a plumber coming out.. which prolly just mean more of an expense
[09:51] *** ClydeFrogger has signed off IRC (kubrick.freenode.net irc.freenode.net).
[09:51] monkey_boy: damn, that's crazy dude
[09:51] monkey_boy: maybe a neighbor is stealing water?
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: ah, suck.  you think maybe a running toilet or something?
[09:51] eppy: i called the utility company.. and they have someone coming out in the next 3-5 days
[09:51] monkey_boy: clyde has a good point
[09:51] eppy: im guessing the toilet.. i dont know what else would do it
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: i wouldnt disregard monkey_boy's "mouse" reasoning
[09:51] monkey_boy: it's possible too
[09:51] monkey_boy: that mouse has it out for you
[09:51] monkey_boy: first it was cold water
[09:51] monkey_boy: now it's just using water
[09:51] monkey_boy: that's what you get for installing "mouse accessible" faucet handles.
[09:51] * eppy pictures a mouse in his kiddie pool
[09:51] helga_: we turned the toilet water valve off last night and you can hear water running underthe house.  i'm guessing there is a leak in the house plumping
[09:51] monkey_boy: erf
[09:51] monkey_boy: oof
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: you should go home during the day and see if you catch him having a water-fiesta with all the neighborhood vermin
[09:51] * monkey_boy imagines mice mariachis
[09:51] * monkey_boy loves the idea of mouse mariachis
[09:51] eppy: disneys ruined you
[09:51] NoClydeFrogger: or has it made him smarter
[09:51] eppy: fine line
[09:52] monkey_boy: http://www.photoshoppix.com/modules/coppermine/albums/userpics/10008/normal_mariachi_kat_3.jpg
[09:52] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: that does suck though if its a leak
[09:52] eppy: im just hoping they can figure something out
[09:52] chellers: hopefully so
[09:52] eppy: id hate for them to be like. welp.. who knows
[09:52] chellers: that sucks eppy
[09:53] eppy: and then charge me for something that doesnt figure it out
[09:53] eppy: i called a place named plumb quick
[09:53] eppy: the archieves of my neighborhood mailing list mentioned them
[09:54] eppy: finding a plumber is not easy
[09:54] chellers: christianson is who we use
[09:54] * eppy hisses

Later that day...

[12:45] eppy: well that was embarassing
[12:46] eppy: the mouse left the water hose on in the backyard
[12:47] NoClydeFrogger: ouuu
[12:47] chellers: eppy: uh-oh
[12:47] chellers: did you get a ticket?
[12:49] eppy: ticket?
[12:49] chellers: or a fine
[12:49] eppy: oh no
[12:49] chellers: for wasting water?
[12:49] chellers: ah k
[12:49] eppy: i had a plumber come over.. he's the one that found it
[12:50] chellers: ahhh
[12:50] chellers: well at least you know what it was
[12:51] eppy: and it was cheap
[12:51] chellers: tru dat
[12:51] chellers: how long had the hose been running?
[12:52] eppy: weeks
[12:52] monkey_boy: 37days 22hours 14mins
[12:52] monkey_boy: that's one mean mouse
[12:52] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: how does monkey_boy know how long the hose has been running?
[12:52] monkey_boy: I subscribed to the mouse's twitter page
[12:53] chellers: bbl..meeting
[12:53] * NoClydeFrogger bets the stupid mouse even has an iphone
[12:54] monkey_boy: NoClydeFrogger: that
[12:55] monkey_boy: that's what he uses to tweet with
[12:57] noodleLeg: eppy: you thought you had a plumbing problem and the problem was just that the hose was on?
[12:57] * noodleLeg wonders if eppy's grass is super green
[13:01] * SweetSue hands eppy the "Checklist Before Calling A Plumber" brochure
[13:02] monkey_boy: poor eppy.  Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't a leaky pipe in the house.  That's considerably more expensive to fix.
[13:03] eppy: just when i think i cant top my last stoopid thing i pull through
[13:04] eppy: si se puede
[13:04] eppy: im afraid for my next blunder
[13:04] SweetSue: welcome to my world
[13:20] *** glitta has signed off IRC ().
[13:34] knarf: lol
[13:34] knarf: you didnt check all your faucets first?
[13:35] knarf: ok, so w.wheaton IS the stand by me guy...wasnt sure
[13:35] knarf: imbd is slacking...they are the 5th hit on google
[13:36] knarf: 6th
[13:36] knarf: eppy: did the plumber charge you for turning off your faucet
[13:36] knarf: hehe
[13:41] knarf: http://www.theansweris12.net/photogallery/SMORKING%20AREA.jpg
[13:45] eppy: knarf: no.. luckily
[13:45] eppy: i assumed the backyard faucet wasnt running
[13:48] knarf: i was going to ask you when you first posted if there were any nice green patches in your yard
[13:48] knarf: but i thought, "eh, screw'em"
[13:49] eppy: nothing unusual... springs com'in round so it seems pretty typical out there
[13:54] knarf: i wasnt thinking running faucet though...i was thinking it could have been a pipe in the yard that busted
[14:06] NoClydeFrogger: eppy: do you remember when you left the hose on?  im waiting for the day i forget to turn off the hose after doing something in the yard.
[14:08] eppy: it might have been the time i was cleaning off some paint brushes.. friends came over to visit.. i think i may have not turned it all the way off that time
[14:09] NoClydeFrogger: suck
[14:10] eppy: i hope it doesnt cause any structual problems
[14:18] NoClydeFrogger: wtf (what the heck), mila kunis is going out with macaulay culkin?
[14:18] monkey_boy: o o
[14:19] monkey_boy: \o/
[14:19] * NoClydeFrogger gives monkey_boy 1000 chataus pts for hs ascii art
[14:19] monkey_boy: yay
[14:20] NoClydeFrogger: monkey_boy: hot homegirls who supposedly game... http://www.pwnordie.com/blog/posts/14059
[14:20] monkey_boy: nice
[14:27] SweetSue: hey chatters - if there's somebody that is interested in starting a nonprofit, point them to this link: http://www.riseaustin.org/Session.aspx?Session=06814ac0-a28d-4dcb-b9a0-9ba20096be05
[14:27] SweetSue: that woman is awesome - saw her talk on Friday
[14:47] SweetSue: can anybody get to auschron.com?
[14:52] helga_: yes
[14:52] SweetSue: thanks
[14:52] noodleLeg: monkey_boy: cuz of your topic, i haven't had to look up the date all day
[14:54] noodleLeg: i still don't understand what eppy was observing that caused him to call a plumber?
[14:55] noodleLeg: eppy: did you have lots of standing water in the yard?
[14:55] SweetSue: water pressure lowered?
[14:55] noodleLeg: eppy: why are you worried about structural issues?
[14:55] eppy: a 400 dollar utility bill
[14:55] noodleLeg: oh
[14:55] noodleLeg: that sucks
[14:55] eppy: no.. there's not a lot of standing water
[14:55] chellers: noodleLeg: watering unevenly can cause foundation issues
[14:56] noodleLeg: wow
[14:56] chellers: noodleLeg: esp if its around the house structure
[14:56] noodleLeg: good thing we rely on rain to water our yard
[14:56] eppy: its wet obviously.. but not something you can see right away
[14:56] eppy: i rely on the rain to water my yard too

Homo-Sapien Arthropod

[09:48] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you wanna go see Human Centipede with knarf, eppy, and myself?
[09:52] * tzcheezy_poof bets that human centipedes could do some hella cool rollerblading
[09:52] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: what the heck is human centipede?
[09:52] [tzcheezy_poof] don't look
[09:52] [tzcheezy_poof] ever heard of "hoof and mouth" disease? it's worse
[09:53] [knarf] monkey_boy: dont look into it at all...go see a movie having no idea at all what your about to see. that would be cool.
[09:54] [ClydeFrogger] yeah
[09:54] [ClydeFrogger] you know whats difficult...eating almost 4 servings of white rice
[09:55] [knarf] blend it up and chug horchata
[09:55] *** helga_ has quit IRC: Quit: meeting
[09:57] [monkey_boy] from roget ebert on the human centipede:
[09:57] [monkey_boy] "I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."
[09:57] [monkey_boy] that sounds like a winner
[09:57] [ClydeFrogger] ahhh, whyd you look
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] what the...
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] why is there an iphone 4 on my desk
[09:58] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: I think I'll be busy when that airs
[09:58] [ClydeFrogger] airs? what are you...from the 50s?
[09:59] [knarf] ClydeFrogger: you probably upgraded to OS4
[10:00] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: if I want to watch a disgusting movie I'll just watch the leave britney alone guy for 5 mins and get my fill for months
[10:00] [monkey_boy] and that doesn't cost me a penny
[10:00] [knarf] monkey_boy: im really disappointed you looked it up
[10:01] [monkey_boy] knarf: I'm really diappointed you tried to drag me to that garbage
[10:01] [tzcheezy_poof] knarf: do you suppose that hurts our chances to make it sound interesting?
[10:01] [knarf] im really disappointed you feel that way
[10:02] [knarf] tzcheezy_poof: it doesnt need us to build it up...HUMAN...CENTIPEDE.
[10:02] [monkey_boy] I just had to read "faces sewn to anuses"
[10:02] [monkey_boy] and I knew it wasn't for me
[10:02] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: it's done artistically
[10:02] [knarf] monkey_boy: think of it as survivor training incase you end up in a mad doctor's house
[10:03] [monkey_boy] knarf: this is why I don't go to far places on vacation
[10:03] [knarf] in this case you'll be a step ahead of everyone and call shotgun!
[10:03] [monkey_boy] if calling shotgun means I have a shotgun then ok
[10:03] [monkey_boy] if it means I want to enter his house sooner, then no.
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you so wouldnt last in a mad doctors house
[10:04] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: that is correct
[10:04] [monkey_boy] my goal would be to not enter his house
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] uh, its never anyone's goal to enter a mad doctors house, 'cept for the mad doctor
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] but those things just happen
[10:04] [ClydeFrogger] and you have to be prepared
[10:04] [monkey_boy] no. no they don't
[10:05] [monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2010/07/no-sighting-of-higgs-but-fermila.html?rss=1
[10:05] [ClydeFrogger] yeah, they do. saw, hostel, human centipede...need i say more
[10:05] [knarf] monkey_boy: dont get mad at me when your end up sewn to someone's uranus and i say "told you so"
[10:06] [monkey_boy] knarf: I promise I won't get mad at you when that doesn't happen
[10:07] * tzcheezy_poof bets monkey_boy WILL get mad, even if he can't possibly blame knarf, just cuz he'll have this conversation to remember
[10:07] [monkey_boy] tzcheezy_poof: I'm really skeptical about the higgs boson. it's a "virtual" particle and no scientist can accurately describe?
[10:07] [tzcheezy_poof] it's a probability thing
[10:07] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: what about a mad scientist who has a goal of making a human centipede?
[10:08] [tzcheezy_poof] seriously, our capacity to detect subatomic particles using instruments made of ordinary matter have to have limits
[10:08] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: 1. it's a dumb idea. 2. he should be focusing that craziness on making zombie warriors
[10:08] [knarf] right?
[10:09] [monkey_boy] what can you do with a human centipede
[10:09] [tzcheezy_poof] rollerblade
[10:09] [monkey_boy] it's just dumb
[10:09] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: i bet everyone thought columbus had a dumb idea when he thought the world was round
[10:09] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: guess history will decide on HC
[10:09] [tzcheezy_poof] History Channel?
[10:09] [monkey_boy] yes. let's let history decide if it's a good idea
[10:10] * monkey_boy can't believe he has to defend the 'human centipede is a dumb idea' position
[10:10] [knarf] monkey_boy: with 10 people, you only have one mouth to feed...good bye world hunger
[10:11] [tzcheezy_poof] plus, twister would be super easy
[10:11] [monkey_boy] well done you two
[10:11] [monkey_boy] if you're mad though wouldn't kill 9 people be a simpler and more effective way of curbing world hunger?
[10:12] * tzcheezy_poof can't believe how sick and twisted monkey_boy's mind is
[10:12] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and it would do nothing to make twister easier
[10:13] [monkey_boy] yes it would
[10:13] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: killing peeps is just jerkface
[10:13] [monkey_boy] fewer people playing twister makes it easy
[10:14] [monkey_boy] "Hi It`s Clarence again. Will you ever contact me? I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you again! If you wanna see them just drop me a line at: nonononnonooooo@no.com"
[10:14] [monkey_boy] that's a good spam
[10:14] [monkey_boy] he talks just like the clarence I know
[10:16] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: did you and clarence have a fight. why you not talking to him?
[10:16] [monkey_boy] because he won't return my shrubbery clippers
[10:17] [tzcheezy_poof] cuz he was busy in the editing room, making vidyas just for you
[10:17] [monkey_boy] wait, what? http://www.livescience.com/animals/animal-warfare-could-the-taliban-train-monkeys-to-shoot-100725.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+Livesciencecom+(LiveScience.com+Science+Headline+Feed)
[10:19] [tzcheezy_poof] old news
[10:19] * tzcheezy_poof remembers stories about gorilla warfare in honduras and nicaragua decades ago
[10:19] * monkey_boy groans
[10:19] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: i bet you wish tzcheezy_poof was part of a human centipede right now, huh?
[10:20] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: no. as bad as that was, no.
[10:20] [tzcheezy_poof] i think i'd rather be one of the 9 dead ones in monkey_boy'
[10:20] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy's alternative
[10:22] * monkey_boy wonders when knarf, tzcheezy_poof, and ClydeFrogger are gonna get bored of the stupid human centipede conversation
[10:24] * tzcheezy_poof wonders... if phil had been part of the HC, would they have "circled the wagons" to defend him from inappropriate biting by tebow?
[10:24] [ClydeFrogger] you think the doctor alternates boy - girl, so you know...it wont be a gay human centipede?
[10:24] [tzcheezy_poof] ClydeFrogger: of course. he's not a monster.
[10:25] [ClydeFrogger] i mean, i bet a human centipede will already have a tough enough time trying to integrate into society...but imagine how difficult it would be for a gay HC?
[10:25] [tzcheezy_poof] what if it's only... 25% gay?
[10:25] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and what if they're hot chicks?
[10:26] * monkey_boy goes into his garage to build an IRC stupid-o-meter
[10:27] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and what if they're wearing rollerblades?
[10:27] [tzcheezy_poof] ... and clarence sends us pictures of them rollerblading down by the beach?
[10:28] [ClydeFrogger] tzcheezy_poof: wed never get the pics cause he wont be talking to monkey_boy
[10:28] [tzcheezy_poof] dag
[10:29] [tzcheezy_poof] monkey_boy: forgive and forget, dude
[10:29] * monkey_boy isn't trusting his IRC stupid-o-meter. it's reading 15 on a scale of 10
[10:30] * monkey_boy goes back to redesign the sensing circuit
[10:30] [eppy] so.. we going to see HC?
[10:30] [eppy] is that tonight or weds?
[10:30] [eppy] i dont know squat about the movie
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] my vote is for weds
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] eppy: great
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] knarf: wed work for you?
[10:30] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy?
[10:30] [tzcheezy_poof] knarf: you've gotta record eppy watching the movie
[10:30] [eppy] well.. i did see that monkey posted some quote about it.. but i didnt read it
[10:31] [monkey_boy] eppy: spoiler - it's dumb.
[10:31] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: oh yeah, wed is perfect. I'll be there.
[10:32] [knarf] wed is cool
[10:32] [tzcheezy_poof] eppy: don't listen to monkey_boy. he's just mad that his little gadget is defective
[10:32] [ClydeFrogger] monkey_boy: you should prolly buy your ticket ahead of time cause it may sell out
[10:32] [monkey_boy] ClydeFrogger: I'm on fandango right now
[10:32] [monkey_boy] I'm buying 3 in case I lose 2 of them
[10:32] * ClydeFrogger cant stop laughing


AND LATER THAT DAY

[12:23] [tzcheezy_poof] hiya, noodleLeg. how's olive?
[12:26] [noodleLeg] at daycare :-(
[12:27] [tzcheezy_poof] noodleLeg: i'll bet you haven't heard the cool news... monkey_boy was contacted by a local publisher about being the illustrator for a new children's book: "The Human Centipede"
[12:27] [tzcheezy_poof] he's thinking it over
[12:27] [noodleLeg] monkey_boy: really?
[12:28] [tzcheezy_poof] ah, lunchtime. bbl
[12:44] [monkey_boy] noodleLeg: ignore him. none of that happened
[13:03] [noodleLeg] thanks monkey_boy, but just so you know i would of bought a copy of your children's book for Olive
[13:03] [knarf] hehe