Trash Talk

[ClydeFrog] chinese lunchers, ready
[chelle] rdy
[ClydeFrog] rdy
[Monkeyboy] I'm going down.
[pepito] rdy
[knarf] 1
[knarf] 2
[knarf] 3
[knarf] not it
[ClydeFrog] not it
[pepito] not it
[chelle] no it
[Monkeyboy] not it
[ClydeFrog] haha, pepito has to drive
[ClydeFrog] out
[Monkeyboy] out
[chelle] out
[knarf] in
[ClydeFrog] HeAdRuSh: we out
[pepito] out
[helga] in
[HeAdRuSh] coo
[knarf] guess its just me and you helga...
[knarf] you wanna talk trash about the rest of the chat peeps?
[Cracker] yeah, right
[helga] oh! oh! oh! can we, knarf?
[Cracker] he gave us permission
[helga] who's first? monkeyboy
[helga] ?
[knarf] sounds like a good place to start
[helga] let's save eppy and clyde for last
[knarf] ok...besides, they are easy
[Cracker] dont say anything about Brian - he's a sweetheart
[knarf] says you
[Cracker] yup - says ME
[helga] ok, he is. . . and a gentleman, too. he offered to give me a ride home the other day in the rain when my car window was broken
[knarf] apparently you havent seen the monkey sweatshop in his closet!
[helga] but what is this FASCINATION with monkeys?
[Cracker] that's sexy... the closet
[knarf] those poor monkeys
[Cracker] bobbi - it's a just a childish dorky thing to dwell on
[Cracker] but we just let him - we try not to stifle him
[helga] what does he make them do in the closet? are they cranking out the power to generate all his computers and servers?
[Cracker] yup - he's got a few tredmills
[knarf] yes, one group anyways
[knarf] the others are cleaning his DND dice
[Cracker] the others are working on building a machine to create the super monkey
[helga] and he only feeds them 5 ounces of water and 2 bananas a week
[knarf] some are cleaning spare computer parts
[knarf] IF they do good...otherwise they go the week with only water
[helga] what a hard-a$$
[helga] we better stay on his good side... superficially at least
[Cracker] yeah, brian's only happy when he's pushing his monkey to the limit
[knarf] i dont want to get into it any further....it brings me down to think of those poor monkeys in there
[helga] what did the monkey ever do to him?
[knarf] thats just it...he tried to be a part of the monkey society and they rejected him
[knarf] his love hate relationship of monkey tribes is off the deep end
[helga] prolly cuz he's so tall. mean little buggers, those monkeys are
[knarf] and hes not very harry either
[knarf] plus he cant hang from his butt....they laughed at him good for that one
[knarf] can you imagine a tribe of monkeys pointing and laughing at you!?
[helga] jay was a giant monkey for halloween. maybe bri can boarrow the monkey suit?
[helga] does monkeyboy have giant hanging trees in his living room? i bet every night, he tries and tries and tries to learn to hang from his butt, but he STILL hasn't realized he doesn't have the tail.
[knarf] its sad really...
[knarf] ok, whos next? how about Cracker?
[helga] she's here to butt in... (hahaha--monkey joke) wait till she goes to her meeting
[helga] what about chelle?
[knarf] oh yeah...besides, shes easy.
[knarf] no pun intended.
[knarf] ok...chelle it is.
[knarf] theres several ways we can go...
[knarf] theres the whole UT vs. utep thing...
[helga] i have to leave in 8 min, so we gotta hurry
[helga] lets dog on UTEP
[knarf] ok
[knarf] their doughnuts suck
pepito is away: (Auto-Away after 10 mins) [BX-MsgLog On]
[helga] they don't have a world series winning baseball team
[knarf] do they even have a baseball team?
[helga] no wonder the team isn't a world series winning team!
[knarf] that school is so poor...they play baseball with sticks and rocks
[helga] i saw their little "gold dancers" at a football game. they sucked
[knarf] canut style
[knarf] gold diggers
[helga] what a dumb name
[knarf] yeah...and the flag girls too...is it a requirement that you HAVE to have a spare tire!?
[knarf] i havent seen more outta shape women since i accidentally walked in on a weight watchers meeting in 908
[helga] and the football team? don't they know they're suppossed to try to win? that's the object of the game!
[knarf] ok...can we get one more in?
[helga] sure
[knarf] eppy and clyde together?
[helga] oh, that'll be fun
[knarf] i think their hate for each other is pent up sexual frustration
[knarf] its another one of those love hate relationships
[helga] oh yeah. i see clyde's been growing his hair out... it looks so long. i think he's trying to imitate eppy
[knarf] eppy really knows how to play pong, but he fakes like he doesnt so he can get ClydeFrog to give him private lessons
[helga] when you play pong, does eppy just let clyde win, cuz it makes clyde happY?
[knarf] then he lets down his fabio-esq hair and flaunts it in clydes face
[helga] lol
[helga] and clyde makes fun of eppy's hair, but secretly, he thinks its so beautiful and shiny
[knarf] yeah, he takes a dive in each game...i think clyde let him win once....it was funny, cause eppy was trying to lose AND clyde was trying to lose...it was a long game
[helga] i wonder what else was on those el paso ping-pong "training" tapes
[helga] i bet if we analyze them, we'll see eppy and clyde, starring into each other's eyes
[knarf] theres footage there of clyde taping himself with a womans wig, acting like he was eppy....
[helga] and eppy walking around, acting all mean, just like clyde
[knarf] [clyde as eppy] hi clyde...theres something ive been wanting to tell you for a long time...
[helga] [clyde as eppy] cuz you know clyde... you're so strong and handsome. why don't you come over here and show my that ping-pong move again....
[knarf] [eppy as clyde] hey eppy, you know i hate you right. [under his breath, i really love you] does this do anything for you? [eppy jump stomps]
[helga] ok, i gotta run.... but i could do this all day!
[knarf] that was fun...
[knarf] cya!
[helga] lates
[knarf] [:|]

Domestic Violence

[labchelle] man...i'm so excited and noone is here to see this stuff on the screen :(
[pepito] hmmm...we're suppose to work 8 hours
[helga] classfrog: did you install a motion detector in my office, that signals your machine, to keep track of my comings and goings, that you keep in a file on your root directory?
[labchelle] thanks for coming to see pepito :)
[pepito] sure...they were the prettiest plines ive ever seen
* knarf pats chelle on the back
[knarf] labchelle: good work
[labchelle] why thank you kind sir....hopefully i'll have some styled lines up before the end of the week
[pepito] how 'bout a cube?
[knarf] im counting on it
[helga] this one's for chelle: all-riiiiight... all-riiiiiight... all-right, all-right, all-right!!!
* pepito rolls eyes
[knarf] [sigh]
[helga] eppy's just jealous cuz he never gets the all-rights
[pepito] :o
[labchelle] knarf: thanks :) it's fun to actually see something on the screen
[ClassFrog] helga: actuially i have heat sensorsin your office
labchelle ^5 helga
* knarf looks at eppy with his fingers in the shape of an L on his forehead
* pepito pulls helga aside
[knarf] ouuuu
[pepito] (whispering) dont you EVER!!!
[knarf] LMAO
[labchelle] hahahaha
* pepito lets go of helga's arm
[knarf] damn dude....what did you say to her? her eyes are tearing up.
* pepito spits
[pepito] chet...you know i handle my biz
[knarf] sho'nuf
* pepito gives knarf a pound
* helga ^ labchelle
[helga] (sorry i was late)
[labchelle] helga: that's ok
[helga] (as classfrog's sensors would indicate, i left the office)
* helga 's eyes begin to tear up
* labchelle goes over to comfort helga
* helga tells chelle, "i just hate him so MUCH sometimes"
[pepito] iz okay...another qualuud...she'll be lovin' me in the mornin'
[helga] nope. this was the last straw
[helga] i ain't never going back!
* pepito eyeballs helga
[labchelle] yeah helga!!
* helga hides behind a big rock
[labchelle] you don't have to take that chet from him!!
[pepito] you best watch yourself
[Monkeyboy] git 'em helga!
* helga flips off pepito
[labchelle] ouuuuuu
[labchelle] nice
[Monkeyboy] Oh DAMN!
[Monkeyboy] it's Jerry Springer time!
* pepito walks over to her car
[pepito] is this what you want!!!
* Monkeyboy is now known as JerryS
* pepito kicks helga new car
[JerryS] and how does that make you feel helga?
* helga drops a cinder block in the back on eppy's beamer
[pepito] :O
[labchelle] hahahahaha
[helga] THAT made ME feel great jerry
[pepito] now you done it
[JerryS] oooo.
* helga slices all of his melvins cds with a table saw
[pepito] sweet cheesus...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
* helga produces a big pair of scissors from her pocket and CHOPS OF HIS HAIR!
[pepito] what did the melvins ever do to you!!!
* pepito falls to knees
[helga] you started it
[pepito] my strenght...cant....get....up
* helga comforts eppy
[helga] i'm sorry
* pepito pulls away
* helga is dumbfounded
[pepito] GO AWAY...I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE
[labchelle] watch out helga...it might be a trick!!
* helga 's chin drops
* pepito runs away
[helga] FINE! Run away, sissy-boy!

Dolly

[noodleLeg] isn't the saying 9 to 5?
[noodleLeg] isn't it time to go home then?
* noodleLeg puts on her dolly parton wig
[noodleLeg] 9 to 5
[pepito] haha
[noodleLeg] na na na
[noodleLeg] [insert words here]
[noodleLeg] 9 to 5
[noodleLeg] gotta na na na na....
[pepito] workin' 9 to 5...is no way to make a livin'
* noodleLeg hands pepito the dolly wig
[noodleLeg] gotta use your mind (?)
[noodleLeg] workin 9 to 5
[noodleLeg] pepito: why aren't you putting on the wig?
* pepito puts on the oversized white beehive wig
[noodleLeg] haha
[noodleLeg] it looks good on you...really
[noodleLeg] but somethings missing....
* noodleLeg hands pepito a box of kleenx
[noodleLeg] you gotta stuff um boy
[noodleLeg] i mean girl
* pepito puts the kleenx box under his shirt on just the left side
[noodleLeg] hahaha
[pepito] hand me anutha
* noodleLeg hands pepito a retangular box of kleenex
[noodleLeg] sorry i couldn't find another square one
* pepito puts the other kleenx box under his shirt on the right side
[pepito] ouu yeah...lookin' good
[noodleLeg] wait
* noodleLeg pushes up the right one a lil
[pepito] almost there
[noodleLeg] much better
* pepito puts on a blank look in his eyes
[pepito] there
[noodleLeg] wow
[noodleLeg] miss dolly you look better than ever!
* noodleLeg hands dolly a microphone
[pepito] yeeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw
[pepito] you darn tootin'
[noodleLeg] \msg pepito pssst...change your name
[noodleLeg] \msg pepito pssst...you're suposed to be dolly remember?
[pepito] \msg noodleLeg i dont wanna
* noodleLeg sneezes
* noodleLeg puts her arm down dolly pepito's shirt
* pepito slaps noodleLeg
[pepito] I DO DECLARE!
[noodleLeg] hey....i needed a kleenex
* pepito tightens his colla
[pepito] well i nevah
[noodleLeg] hahaha

Chat Wuss

[ClydeFrog] man, im reading the chat archives and i think im too mean, therefore from this moment on, im gonna be a nicer frog
[pepito] wuz
[ClydeFrog] pepito: i appreciate your opinion
[pepito] hehe
[pepito] i think your moms a ho
[ClydeFrog] pepito: im sorry you feel that way, maybe we can talk later and discuss it
[pepito] this is great....yeah...how 'bout you shove your 'sorries' up your butt
[ClydeFrog] pepito: im sensing a lot of anger from you, are you sure this isnt something some warm milk and kitten whisker kisses cant help
[helga] clydefrog: would you like me to forward you the "bizzare britney spears in the buff" email to you?
[pepito] id like one too
[pepito] helga: can i view it at work?
[helga] pepito: i don't know
[helga] oops, i just emptied the folder
[pepito] geez...clydefrog can flip the wuz mode on in a flash
[pepito] :/
* pepito grabs the cat, yanks off its whiskers, and chugs some milk
[pepito] hmmmm...i DO feel better
[ClydeFrog] so whats for lunch
[pepito] your momma
[knarf] hehe
[pepito] whats wrong sissy boy
[helga] did i hear, "chipotle" earlier?
[pepito] ClydeFrog: go pick us up some chipotle.....NOW!
[ClydeFrog] pepito: it okay, i know all of these outbursts are just cover ups on your true feelings
[knarf] yes, i would like shoputs
[knarf] whoa
[knarf] shoputs=chipots
[pepito] qee shoputs
[knarf] i already told you...
[knarf] dumbass
[pepito] dont get all pissy like clydefrog
[ClydeFrog] so chipots then?
[knarf] hes not pissy...YOU are pissy
[knarf] i have to double up on the hate to fill the frog void
[knarf] ClydeFrog: yeah
[ClydeFrog] pepito: gentlemen please, there is no need to argue, there is already too much hate in the world
* pepito kicks ClydeFrog square on the balls
* knarf rubs pepito's face in it...
[knarf] pepito: look what you did to ClydeFrog!!
[pepito] gross
[knarf] bad pepito!
[knarf] bad!
* pepito backs away from chat
* knarf throws pepito outside
[pepito] uh...we have limits and there's a certain protocal of acceptable posts on chatty chat...i think knarfs gone too far
[knarf] pussy! pussssy!
[ClydeFrog] pepito: i do believe you meant "protocol", an honest mistake, could have been made by anyone
[knarf] nah, thats a signature pepito move right there
[pepito] great...im stuck in the middle of pansyville and jerkburg
[knarf] its called pusstown
[knarf] so whens lunch?
[ClydeFrog] same bat time, same bat channel
[knarf] so eppy is driving again?
[pepito] my car's not a bat channel
[knarf] oh thats right, cats cant walk on a bat channel

Scrooge

[knarf] there are ghosts in here
[helga] really??
[knarf] yes
[knarf] i saw them with my own eyes
[ClydeFrog] why you say that
[knarf] i was walking down the hall (along the windows), getting near my aisle...
[knarf] the corners are windows...before i make the turn i see in the window straight ahead...
[knarf] like 5 people walking behind me
[knarf] i turn...
[knarf] NO ONE THERE!!!
[knarf] true story
[knarf] honest injun
[ClydeFrog] maybe they turned down another aisle
[knarf] nope...they were closer
[knarf] too close to turn down a hall where i couldnt see them
[LeMac] that's easy knarf
[LeMac] it was the ghost of x-mas past, present and future
[knarf] so they are looking for eppy?
[LeMac] could be
[LeMac] they need to show him the true meaning of x-mas
[knarf] its all making sense now.
[LeMac] before it's too late
[helga] hahaha
[pepito] baah
[LeMac] they need to show him as a baby sitting by himself at the kiddy table during x-mas dinner
[LeMac] with no one to play with
[LeMac] with long hair of course
[helga] and zoom to xmas present
* pepito raises his cane in disgust
[LeMac] , they never let him play in any reindeer games
[helga] ...he's still at the kiddy table, all by himself
[knarf] then to the future...
[knarf] [whoosh]
[knarf] ...he's still at the kiddy table, all by himself
[LeMac] with burned out digarrett butts
[knarf] and still complaining about going skiing
[LeMac] hahaha
[LeMac] with a lump of coal in the fire place
[pepito] about NOT going skiing
[LeMac] and the cat laughing at him
[knarf] and pooping on his plate
[LeMac] while Wendy is getting ready to go to a x-mas party
[knarf] and christian is playing with eppy's PS2...
[ClydeFrog] uh, isnt he suppose to be dead in the x-mas future scene
[knarf] still playing THPS3 cause he doent have any other games
[knarf] then he dies.
[LeMac] pobre Davy.....if he doesn't change his ways before x-mas day
[LeMac] this will be the future that plays out...
[pepito] i hope they have skiing in heaven
[knarf] they do...but not where youre going...
[ClydeFrog] where your going, there is only the promise of going skiing, but in the end, it never happens
[knarf] where youre going...its always 4am and youre waiting for your ride
[pepito] NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[ClydeFrog] knarf: yours is better
[LeMac] sssssss.....gacho!
[Pablo] pepito: wow, you better not die. that would suck.
pepito puts "Dont Die" on his To Do list
[knarf] if thats the same list where you have "return knarf's hammer"....youre screwed
[ClydeFrog] pepito: or "give marcos back his simpsons season II DVD"
[LeMac] or give le-mac the 20 bucks you owe him
[pepito] its in my office
[ClydeFrog] i dont have it in my hand, so i dont believe
[pepito] YOU GET NOTHING!!! I DONT KNOW YOU!!!
[Pablo] pepito: All of this could've been avoided if you put "Die" on your To Don't list.
[pepito] To Don't
[pepito] 1. Die
[pepito] 2. Touch Poo

Household Meeting

[Cracker] dave - seriously, we need to send rent $ tonight
[knarf] uh-oh
[ClydeFrog] hahaha, you guys are gonna get kicked out
[pepito] okay...im not trying stop you
[knarf] ouuuu
[ClydeFrog] can you call us when you all are getting evicted so we can go watch
[pepito] Cracker: i need the utility mad loot too
[knarf] ouuuu
[Cracker] okay, but I need a gentle reminder. okay, can we figure out the bills tonight then? after you get back from VB?
[ClydeFrog] hahahaha
[pepito] Cracker: 'ight
[ClydeFrog] can you guys record your house meeting
[knarf] hahahaha
[knarf] pepito: you take minutes
[ClydeFrog] knarf: the cat does
[knarf] i thought the cat ran the meetings?
[ClydeFrog] knarf: they take turns
[pepito] the cat has horrible penmenship
[knarf] [cat] meow meow. meow meow MEOW meow meow.
[ClydeFrog] eh, there messaging each other, no fun
[ClydeFrog] [pepito] i know, ill pick up after myself, i promise
[pepito] no were not you paranoid butt munch
[knarf] [cat] [rollseyes]
[ClydeFrog] [pepito] I SWEAR
[pepito] lol
[knarf] [cat] meow meow. [looks at wendy] MEOW!! meow meow meow.
[ClydeFrog] [cracker] what, i know i flushed the toilet, it wasnt me
[knarf] [cat] meeeeeow! meow meow meow. [slams paw on the table] meow meow.
[ClydeFrog] [Cracker] alright it was me, but it wasnt my fault, i think i broke the toilet
[knarf] [cat] [raises paw to cracker] meow meow. [begins to lick it genitles.]
[ClydeFrog] [pepito] [thinking to self] i wish i could do that
[Cracker] ew
[pepito] hahahha
[pepito] a pussy licking her...