News Flash

[Cracker] dave - are you going to salt lick?
[eppy] uh-huh
[Cracker] I heard that place gets crazy sometimes
[eppy] crazy?
[eppy] well maybe since its good friday it wont be so packed
[eppy] but this town doesnt have as many catholics as ept
[eppy] it might not be a factor....now back to Wendy with the Weather
[Cracker] well, it's nice out - alittle breezy
[Cracker] with a 5-10mph N/nE wind. The humidity factor is about 30% right now, so it's pretty enjoyabel!
[Cracker] and, now Knarf has the latest sports news...
[knarf] well sportsfans...it was an interesting day in the world of pong yesterday.
[knarf] the ibm invitational tourny was cancelled because of a tornado warning in 908.
chelle has joined channel #chat
[Cracker] that's too bad knarf - when will normal game play resume?
[chelle] morning
[knarf] the games have been rescheduled for this after noon and will feature a rivalry like no other between three of the world's best...
[Cracker] shhhh... we're on the air
[knarf] knarf, ClydeFrog and eppy.
[knarf] back to you Cracker
[eppy] .....this just in
[Cracker] sounds great knarf... we have a special guest in the studio this morning
[Cracker] oh, what's that eppy epperman?
[eppy] NEWS BRIEF NEWS BRIEF
[eppy] ...a couple a bandits were seen leaving Austin on a wild rampage
[chelle] lol
[eppy] apparently one of the bandits is all-star pong player Clyde P Frog
[knarf] [filem clip of a dark blue sports trac running behind eppy]
[eppy] the distrot athlete has appaarently robbed a convient store
[Cracker] but the big question is - who was the midget riding piggy back on Clyde P frog?
[eppy] we'll send to chelle our action news reporter in the sky with our SKY-CAM news team
[eppy] chelle...what do you see?
[chelle] right now we are following clyde frog's sport trac down i-10
[eppy] [fuss][requency noise]
[chelle] we have no idea why he is going west on i-10.
[Cracker] [chopper noise]
[chelle] we believe that he may have plans to hit a mom and pop shop in sonora.
[chelle] [chopper zooms in closer to the sports trac]
[Cracker] Chelle - is anyone else in the car with him? is that midget there?
[eppy] ...any clues as to who the midget riding piggy back on Clyde P Frogs back?
[knarf] this just in...
[chelle] well all we can see right now is clyde frog driving....that midget cannot be seen anywhere[knarf] the 2 in fact have robbed a mom and pop store in sonora and were seen heading west on i-10
[eppy] lol
[knarf] apparently they are headed for....el paso?
[LeMac] what's up?????????
[Cracker] EL PASO? what the hell's in el paso?
[Cracker] shhh.. we're on a hot chase
[knarf] eye witnesses tell their story:
[knarf] [witness1]
[chelle] EL PASO!!!
knarf is now known as witness1
[witness1] oh it was horrible....
[eppy] is that PoP from the mom and pop store?
[chelle] what did you see pop?
[witness1] the man had a scary look in his eyes...
[witness1] and he had a hobgoblin with him!!
[chelle] a hobgoblin? i thought that wasn't possible!!
[witness1] they took all the power bars and glitter in the store and ran out screming hysterically...
[chelle] lol
[eppy] the madness the madness
[witness1] i heard the man say something about "El Paso here we come"!!
[LeMac] oh! the inhumanity!
witness1 is now known as knarf
[chelle] po, do you think they are trying to cross the border?
[chelle] po = pop
[LeMac] stop! I'm scared...
[chelle] it seems we have lost contact with pop.
[knarf] folks...one last update...
[LeMac] I heard that the hobgoblin is known to be able to stand very still and blend with her environment and can keep one eye on you and the other on something else....her eyes were built like that...
[knarf] the eye witness talk to police sketc artitst...please if you see this man `:[ dont not approach them!! call authorities immediately!! back to you the studio with eppy and Cracker
[eppy] [shuffles papers]
[knarf] LOL
[eppy] thank you chelle and knarf
[noodleLeg] good morning
[eppy] ahem...now for some cooking advise from our Cooking expert...noodleLeg
[eppy] tell us about your reciepe
[noodleLeg] for chile con queso?
[LeMac] I have a scetch of the hobgoblin...just in
[noodleLeg] cuz you know its always a good time for queso
[LeMac] o-|-o
[LeMac] \_/
[knarf] [security runs the intruder, possibly an accomplice, LeMac out of the studio]
[LeMac] o-|-o
[LeMac] \_/
[LeMac] \_/
[LeMac] o-|-o
[LeMac] \_/
[LeMac] \_/
[LeMac] o-|-o
[LeMac] \_/
[Cracker] wow - that looks just like the midget - i mean hobgoblin
[knarf] give it up...youre ruining the cooking segment
[Cracker] AMazing - we'll keep that posted on the screen, if anyone sees this person call our tollfree hotline
[eppy] its heinous!
[Cracker] yes, i will have nightmares tonight
[noodleLeg] okay first you need 10 jalepanos
[noodleLeg] preferably from el paso
[Cracker] [gasp]
[eppy] `:[
[knarf] ACK!
[Cracker] That's a very evil place, noodleLeg, are you sure we can't get them elsewhere?
[eppy] (thinks to self...gee i wonder if that is why they were heading to hEL Paso
[noodleLeg] they're just not hot enough out here
[noodleLeg] the evil adds to the flavor
[noodleLeg] eppy:haha
[noodleLeg] you need to boil the evil out of the jalepanos
[noodleLeg] you also need other onion and tomato (these do not require any additional evil) they can be gathered locally
[Cracker] ahhh... i see. Do you need a priest around for this recipe?
[noodleLeg] no, but it's good to have other evil spirits around to protect you
[noodleLeg] i prefer the vampire kind
[eppy] :|
[noodleLeg] good spirits are useless cuz they're not good fighters
[noodleLeg] so you should befriend a couple of evil spirits
[noodleLeg] that's why i'm friends with dave
[eppy] [shuffles papers and turns away]...huh...thanks for the recipe...it sounds delicious
[eppy] not to my co-host...with a special news update...here's LeMac
[eppy] not=now
[noodleLeg] but you didn't even let me get to the queso part of the queso recipe
[Cracker] is one allowed to make this on Good Friday?
[eppy] [camera pans to and away from noodle]
[Cracker] Well... it looks like our times almost up...
[noodleLeg] yes, cuz there's not meat
[knarf] [channel signal is lost....only static is seen and heard]
[noodleLeg] not=no
[Cracker] you suck frank
[knarf] opps!! my bad! [knarf plugs the cord back in]
[knarf] sorry bout that...
[Cracker] .... you updated with all the latest news on teh Clyde/hobgoblin chase
[knarf] hmmm....cracker....were live here....
[Cracker] Stay tuned for what's coming up next on IBMnetwork
* helga has joined channel #chat
[helga] mornin
[Cracker] oh, thanks for coming in helga - she's our new scheduler
[chelle] morning helga
[Cracker] on the our TV STATION
[helga] i'm the new scheduler? bfw?
[Cracker] Please, can you tell us, what the next show is on our network? since the NEWS IS OVER?
[helga] montel williams. sylvia plath is about to read your fortune
[Cracker] OH! I love syliva plath... Not too keen on Montel though
[Cracker] THank you Helga! Our new programmer at the studio. Everyone have a great friday and we'll see you next week
[Cracker] i mean Good Friday
[Cracker] [shuffles papers and turns to smile at other anchors]
[Cracker] pssstt... eppy, say goodbye
[eppy] Goodbye America...and God Bless
[noodleLeg] haha
[eppy] [chuckles to other anchors]
[knarf] knarf, dude....that was a bit much wasnt it?
[knarf] its not like youre tom brokahawasawhahaw
[noodleLeg] helga: you missed my chile con queso recipe
[knarf] good bye america???
[eppy] yeah...i was signing off
[knarf] were just going to montel...not going off air for the nite...
[noodleLeg] is was the cooking expert despite the fact that i can only cook one thing
[knarf] i dont know why YOU are the top paid anchor!??
[eppy] you just do sports
[knarf] everyone knows your hair is a toupe`
[noodleLeg] haha
[eppy] its on snug
[knarf] [mumbling to self]stoopid mr.hotshot achorman...
[noodleLeg] sounds like the sportsman is jealous
[eppy] what...just 'cause to do a couple radio shows you think youre some BIG celeb
[eppy] to=you
[knarf] not just any radio show! the sxsw coverage AND the dr.drew and adam show...
[eppy] [smirks]
[knarf] both have a wide range of listners thank you very much!!
[noodleLeg] you got to hang out with dr drew and adam?
[eppy] you said like FOUR words!
[eppy] hi im knarf buttf*%k
[knarf] yes...i filled in for adam and the show was a great success! it was nevery funny or more fluid.
[knarf] thats it...that tape i have of you and youre co-host lemac....yeah, well, im making it public!!! take that mr.hotshotanchorman!
[noodleLeg] haha
[eppy] :\
[eppy] thats not me in that video
[knarf] the truth will be known ho
[knarf] the truth will be known how lemac went from pizza delivery boy to co-anchor in 2 weeks will finally be known!!
[eppy] the kids got an excellent smile
[knarf] oh its you...it starts off with you puttin on your toupe backstage and lemac bring your pizza....and getting his "tip"
[eppy] does twice as good of job as you
[knarf] [knarf stomps out of the studio]
[eppy] damn hot head
[chelle] welcome to another episode of behind the news
[knarf] [grabs his gat from his trunk and heads back to the studio]
[knarf] rat-a-tat-tat
[knarf] rat-a-tat-tat
[knarf] rat-a-tat-tat
[knarf] rat-a-tat-tat
[knarf] all anchors lie a bloody pool of their own self righteousness
[knarf] [knarf leaves no survivors and goes home and enjoys a hot pocket as he watches montel]
[chelle] i didn't know knarf had it in him
[knarf] oh yeah! i like hot pockets...pepperoni are the best
[chelle] i just never pictured you as a hot pocket person...maybe more of a hungry man dinner kind of guy
[knarf] lol
[noodleLeg] haha
[noodleLeg] helga: how was sushi?
[helga] sushi was pretty good. we were all late and