Darth Maul Jedi-napped

[knarf] is it just me or do you guys feel like youre here very waking moment?
[monkeyboy] ahahahahaha
[monkeyboy] it NEVER ENDS!
[knarf] this is the job that never ends....
[knarf] it just goes on and on my friends...
[knarf] some PEOPLE!
[knarf] started singing it, not knowing what it was
[knarf] and they'll continue working it forever just because
[knarf] this is the job that never ends....
[knarf] dum da du-dum
[knarf] it just goes on and on my friends...
[knarf] dum da du-dum
[knarf] some PEOPLE!
[knarf] started singing it, not knowing what it was
[knarf] and they'll just keep on working it forever just because
[knarf] this is the job that never ends....
[knarf] dum da du-dum
[knarf] it just goes on and on my friends...
[knarf] some PEOPLE!
[knarf] started singing it, not knowing what it was
[knarf] and they'll just keep on working it forever just because
[eppy] this is the job that never ends....
[monkeyboy] (sung in the style of brak)
[knarf] guess the song just ended
* helga has joined channel #chat
[helga] hola
[knarf] monkeyboy: you are correct sir! that was brak style
[eppy] mornin' bobbi
[knarf] sup bobbi
[helga] hi dave
[helga] hey knarf
[knarf] [GASP!!]
[knarf] WHO TOOK MY DARTH MAUL!?
[helga] the boogy man
[knarf] its half darth maul (the bottom half was mauled by Jeze), but it was a darth maul nonetheless.
* knarf looking in eppy's direction
[knarf] so? who took it?
ClydeFrog points at eppy
[eppy] wha' i do?
[knarf] eppy: you are being charged with the abduction of darth maul. how do you plead?
[knarf] plea?
[ClydeFrog] yeah, i think thats right
[monkeyboy] [eppy] Guilty, your honor!
[eppy] pues i didnt do it, sir
[monkeyboy] take 'em away boys!
[knarf] the evidence is completely circumstantial....but you fit the profile.
[helga] Eppy! don't say anything till your lawyer arrives
[knarf] foreman of the jury....have you made a decision?
[ClydeFrog] [head jury dude] GUILTY, your honor
[eppy] helga: will you be my lawyer?
[helga] um, whatever happened to due process?
* helga is now known as eppysLawyer
[eppysLawyer] i object, your honor!
[knarf] [HAMMER COMES DOWN]
[knarf] smack! smack! smack!
[monkeyboy] uhm, he confessed...look -] [eppy] Guilty, your honor!
[eppysLawyer] your honor, this is completely ridiculous!
[monkeyboy] I can't make that up.
monkeyboy is now known as knarfs-da
[eppysLawyer] your honor, that statement was never signed by my client
[knarf] in light of exhibit B brought fourth by monkeyboy, i have no choice but to sentence you to 3 months in the county jail.
[eppy] wha?
[knarf] meet your new cell mate....with Bobbi Joe Lee
[knarfs-da] Persuant to law 14 secion 3 subsecion c, it clearly states: "if eppy is found near the scene of the crime, he is clearly the guilt party"
[knarf] bailif(sp)! take him away!
[knarfs-da] your honor, I suggest throwing the book at this public menace before more maul's are mauled.
[eppysLawyer] your honor!
knarf throws "war and peace" at eppy's head
[eppy] (secretely happy he gets a new orange jumpsuit)
[knarf] [with a disgusted tone] get him outta my site
[knarf] sight
[eppysLawyer] [whispering to client] do you want me to get you out or are you happy with the decision
[ClydeFrog] [head jury dude] we also find the defendant, eppy epperman, guilty of impersonating a man, and impersonating a pong-player
[eppy] \msg eppysLawyer uh-yeah...NO!!!
[eppysLawyer] [still whispering] cuz you've got a pretty sweet deal... three meals a day, a workout gym, cable, and conjugal visits
Pagoda is now known as crazysooprizewi
[knarf] then the defendent shall server no less than 6 months in county
[knarf] at which point you will be eligible for parole if you wish.
crazysooprizewi is now known as suprzwitness
[knarf] this case is over!!!!
knarf swings the gavel one last time
[eppysLawyer] [whispering to client] and i hear they serve double cheeseburgers over at county
eppy holds up a "FREE EPPY" sign and gives a peace out to his homies
[knarf] eppy busts into, its a hard knock life
[suprzwitness] damn, too late
[eppysLawyer] suprzwitness: yeah, this court SUCKS
[eppysLawyer] suprzwitness: can i put you on the witness list for the appeal?
[ClydeFrog] [head jury dude on Dateline with Stone Phillips]
[suprzwitness] sho thang
knarfs-da is now known as bubba-lee
knarf is now known as Stone
[ClydeFrog] I dont know what to tell you Stone, it was one of the most difficult decisions we had to make in their in the jury room
[bubba-lee] is this my new biaaatch? (looks pathetically at eppy)
[Stone] mr.headjurydude.....how do you feel about the conviction?
[ClydeFrog] well to tell you the truth, i truly feel that justice was done
[Stone] did the lack of evidence make the decision difficult?
bubba-lee is now known as bimbo-co-anchor
[ClydeFrog] i can now sleep at night knowing creeps like eppy are behind bars......no, not at all, we knew he was guilty just by looking at him, didnt matter what the evidence showed
[ClydeFrog] or didnt show
[bimbo-co-anchor] so, did it, like, you know, like suck not getting good dougnuts in the jury box?
[eppysLawyer] [interrupting the interview] stone, this was a complete and absolute disgrace to democracy! there was no evidence that linked my client to the crime scene.
[eppysLawyer] the darth maul was never recovered.
[eppysLawyer] fingerprints of my clients were never at the crime scene.
[ClydeFrog] bimbo-co-anchor: i can show you how much it sucked after this show if youd like [winks]
[Stone] eppysLawyer: what evidence did you have to prove he DIDNT do it?
[eppysLawyer] in fact, the only fingerprints they found WERE the victims... AND clydefrog's, who happened to be juror #1
[eppysLawyer] AND my client had an alibi!
[Stone] [looks at co-anchor in drag] dude...dont do it...remember what happened when you met geraldo for drinks after last weeks show?
[eppysLawyer] he was at mcdonald's, stocking up on double cheeseburgers... they have a 99 cent deal, ya know
[bimbo-co-anchor] oh really? how much?
[eppysLawyer] only 99 cent for a double cheeseburger!
[Stone] eppysLawyer: that alibi was thrown out the window when it was discovered the 99 cent price was over
[eppysLawyer] i'm sorry stone.
[eppysLawyer] that's wrong
bimbo-co-anchor is now known as monkeyboy
[monkeyboy] ok, I'm done. :)
[ClydeFrog] shes lying, she just doesnt want her client to go to jail, because she is also dating him, isnt that true eppysLawyer
[eppysLawyer] the deal was still on that afternoon
[Stone] besides....everyone was happy to see him get the book thrown at him.
[eppysLawyer] clydefrog: our personal relationship has nothing to do with this trial
[Stone] we get got knarf here via satellite....lets see how the victim is doing.
Stone is now known as knarf
[knarf] (feed with head jury dude is disconnected)
[knarf] (enter knarf)
[knarf] hey stone....
eppy singing to himself..."murder was the case that they gave me..."
[knarf] guess what!
[knarf] that day after the trial...bout 2 months ago now...i dropped a pencil by my desk.
[knarf] when i went to pick it up, i saw my darth maul back there....weird huh!?
[knarf] guess he didnt do it.
[eppysLawyer] you framed my client!
[eppysLawyer] we're going to sue you for everything you've got!
[knarf] no no....honest mistake. you guys will laugh and laugh.
[eppysLawyer] you'll end up penniless and broke, living in a van, down by the river
[knarf] i guess i should have mentioned this after the trial.